TOMORROW IS ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I love this holiday. I like it because I love to drink, and I love telling people my ancestors were Irish, and mostly I love to drink!
I can't drink this year, you know. I can eat, though, and I am almost as good at eating as I am drinking.
I decided I wanted to bake something for work today. Something green, but nothing dyed, because that's usually off-putting. I thought of things that are green and are also dessert-worthy. I remembered that spumoni cake I made for Easter a couple years ago and decided I would make pistachio cupcakes. I didn't want to just add a box of pudding or a handful of crushed nuts to a box mix, I wanted to make pistachio cupcakes, dammit. After searching for awhile on the internet, the same recipe came up over and over - a box of mix, a box of pistachio pudding, awful green food coloring. The cupcakes were bright shamrock green, the icing usually a pale minty color. They were awful. I was discouraged.
Then I came across this recipe from Feast on the Cheap and lo and behold! They used real pistachios! And flour! And sugar! And stuff! And no food coloring, so I decided to try it. I am really, really, really glad I did. It is hands down now my favorite cupcake I've ever made (well, no, any time I put candied orange peel on a cupcake is my favorite cupcake in the world). The only change I made was instead of buttercream icing I used cream cheese because I'm just not a huge fan of buttercream, no matter how many different recipes I try.
PISTACHIO CUPCAKES
1 c shelled unsalted pistachios
1 c all-purpose flour
2 tsps baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 c milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
3/4 c sugar
2 large eggs
1/2 c pistachios for decorating (is what I used)
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.
Pulse the pistachios in a food processor until finely ground. In a large bowl, whisk together the ground pistachios, flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
Combine the milk and vanilla in a spouted measuring cup.
Beat the butter and sugar until fluffy and pale, about 2 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time until just combined. On low speed, alternately add the pistachio mixture and the milk in batches, starting and finishing with the flour. Finish mixing by hand and avoid over-beating.
Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin tin filling to the top of the liners. Bake for 12 - 14 minutes.
(The only thing I would change is they did not need to be filled to the top. I assumed maybe this instruction was because they didn't rise well, but they rise like any other cupcake I've ever made - definitely fill them 2/3 full like you would with any other cupcake batter. I had those big, flat, icky muffin-tops. Also because of that it only made 10...otherwise it would have certainly made a full dozen.)
Anyway, I lightly chopped up the 1/2 cup of pistachios, slapped on some of my cream cheese icing, and sprinkled with the nuts. Delicious! The guys up here really loved them, too!
On that recipe, she also linked to a key lime pie. You know what's special about a key lime pie? IT'S ALSO GREEN, SISTER.
I knew I was taking a chance pulling two recipes from one source and making them the same night, but I threw caution to the wind when I surfed for other pie recipes and realized they're all about the same!
KEY LIME PIE
For the crust:
1 1/2 c graham cracker crumbs
1/4 c sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
5 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
For the filling:
4 egg yolks
14 oz can sweetened, condensed milk
1/2 c key lime juice
And I had some whipped cream on hand for topping, but I didn't put it on top - I think next time I will since it would be prettier.
Cookie crumbs for decorating:
2/3 c graham cracker crumbs
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
2 tbsp sugar
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
Prepare the crust. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and spices until blended. Stir in the melted butter, combining well.
Transfer the mixture to the bottom of a 9-inch pie plate. Lightly spread the crumbs evenly along the bottom and up the sides of the pie plate. Once evenly distributed, use gentle pressure to press the mixture into the bottom and sides, forming a rim slightly raised at the top edge of the dish.
If opting for the cookie crumble topping, prepare in the same manner, through step 2. Transfer the crumbs to a piece of heavy foil, folding up the sides to prevent spilling in the oven. (It looks like a flat-bottomed, square boat.)
Bake the pie shell and “boated” cookie crumbs for about 10 minutes until lightly browned.
Turn the oven temperature down to 350 degrees.
Meanwhile, prepare the filling. In a medium mixing bowl, using a whisk or electric mixer, lightly beat the eggs. Add the condensed milk, incorporating fully.
Gradually add the Key lime juice. Be careful not to over beat, if using an electric mixer, as the final product will form air bubbles on the surface.
Transfer the filling to the prepared pie crust. Using a rubber spatula, spread evenly to the edges of the crust.
Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. The pie will jiggle – don’t worry as the final setting occurs in the fridge.
Allow to cool for 15 minutes and then refrigerate the pie for 8 hours.
Either spread the whipped cream over the top of the pie, or top each slice with a dollop. Sprinkle with the cookie crumbs.
That's it. I do have to admit that while the pie was baking I was cleaning up and noticed the cinnamon for the crust waiting patiently on the counter for me to add it in. Whoops! It didn't seem to make much of a difference to the guys who ate it.
So now I've got a new website I'm going to spend a lot of time browsing, and some ideas for Easter. Key lime pie? Another spumoni cake but this time with cream cheese icing (and maybe a lemon layer instead of a pineapple)? Or another Death by Chocolate trifle? (mmm) Any requests?
Showing posts with label desserticles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label desserticles. Show all posts
Banana Nut Bread
HA! I showed you, cookbook fiasco. Except I need four bananas. I guess I'll be making one loaf and keeping it to myself. I'm not even sure if this is mom's because I can't remember mom EVER having pumpkin pie spice, but it's the one I found in my handwriting, so I'm going with this one.
Banana Nut Bread
2 1/4 c. flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
4 large bananas
1/2 c. butter
1/3 c. oil
5 tbsp. water
2 eggs
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
pecans
Mix all ingredients. Pour into two loaf pans. Bake at 325 for 55 - 65 minutes.
Banana Nut Bread
2 1/4 c. flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
4 large bananas
1/2 c. butter
1/3 c. oil
5 tbsp. water
2 eggs
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
pecans
Mix all ingredients. Pour into two loaf pans. Bake at 325 for 55 - 65 minutes.
Hummingbird Swirls
So, here is the recipe that a) will get rid of your reject banana and b) got me a refill request. Win-win.
I have come across hummingbird cake in every Southern cake book I have. I had never heard of it, and I always just kind of passed it by - the picture looked like a boring old yellow cake with boring old cream cheese icing. Not real impressive. Then last weekend I was thumbing through my books looking for cupcakes to make for work for Valentine's Day. Something I wouldn't have to run to the store for. Ta-da, I found it in Cupcakes! a book by Elinor Klivans. ELINOR. You see now?
But is it really a Southern cake? I found a description that says it's "a Victorian cake recipe that is truly exceptional. The perfect cake to take to gatherings...it's easy, freezes well, serves many." But in the same article, it mentions it was first seen in Southern Living in 1978, submitted by Mrs. L.H. Wiggins of Greensboro, N.C.
Shit, Kendra, you were born in 1978. You're Victorian. Mom should throw you over the back of her couch.
Wikipedia has nothing, which really, really bothers me.
Anyway, it's delicious. The cupcakes, I mean. I'm going to try Miss Mary Bobo's recipe next, and I have a feeling it's going to be even better. After all, Ms. Elinor Klivans lives in Maine, and therefore, in my mind, probably doesn't know too much about Southern cakes, Victorian or otherwise.
(that wasn't meant to sound as bitchy as it did...you know how I am)
Hummingbird Swirls
Makes: 12 big-top cupcakes
1 1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup sour cream
3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup mashed banana (1 banana)
1/2 cup canned crushed pineapple in its own juice, drained (8 oz can is what I used)
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the egg, yolk, and sugar on medium speed until the mix is thick and cream-colored, roughly two minutes. Stop the mixer and scrape the bowl if necessary. On a low speed, mix in the oil and vanilla until blended. Continue mixing and add the sour cream until completely blended. Mix in the flour mixture until the batter is smooth. Add the banana, pineapple, and pecans until completely blended.
Fill the cupcake liners with 1/3 cup of batter, to about 1/4 of an inch from the top of the liner.
Bake the cupcakes until the tops are golden and when a toothpick is inserted comes out clean (about 25 minutes).
Okay, the frosting. Everyone has their own cream cheese frosting recipe, I know, but I went ahead and used hers. Mine doesn't have butter. Hers tasted exactly like mine, though, so who knows. (Obviously, make sure your cupcakes are cooled before frosting.)
Cream Cheese Frosting
Makes: 3 cups (which is a bit too much for these cupcakes if you aren't piping them - I just frosted mine like a normal, un-fancy person with a plain old spatula and had a lot of icing left over. I wonder though, if I had piped it on, if I would have had enough. Eyeball this.)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
6 oz cream cheese, at room temperature (I used 8 oz...I am not about to cut up cream cheese and have 2 oz leftover)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups powdered sugar (You'll need way more, unless you are looking for your frosting to slide over the edge of your cupcake. Eyeball this too.)
Beat the butter, cream cheese, and vanilla on low until smooth, roughly one minute. Add the powdered sugar, mixing until smooth, about one minute. Beat for an additional minute to lighten the frosting.
I really wouldn't make any changes, as far as I recall (the cupcakes are long gone). All of her approximations (about 2 minutes, roughly 1 minute, baking time, etc.) were spot on, as I ran my kitchen timer to see. The only issue was with the frosting, which I made note of. I have a problem with every frosting recipe, though - they never tell you to use enough powdered sugar.
I know the recipe looks like a lot of work, but it's not. If you mise en place the shit out of it, you're good to go.
Here are some cool facts about hummingbirds I picked up while searching for the history of the cake's name:
They have tiny little feet that are only good for perching, scratching or preening. This means if they wish to move, even a few inches, they must fly.
They have very good memories and will even be able to remember where they found food from the previous year.
Hummingbirds will sometimes attack larger birds, even hawks or crows!
Early Spanish explorers called them Flying Jewels.
With no feather the average hummer is about the size of a bumblebee.
They can starve to death in about an hour.
They apparently do not eat cupcakes.
I have come across hummingbird cake in every Southern cake book I have. I had never heard of it, and I always just kind of passed it by - the picture looked like a boring old yellow cake with boring old cream cheese icing. Not real impressive. Then last weekend I was thumbing through my books looking for cupcakes to make for work for Valentine's Day. Something I wouldn't have to run to the store for. Ta-da, I found it in Cupcakes! a book by Elinor Klivans. ELINOR. You see now?
But is it really a Southern cake? I found a description that says it's "a Victorian cake recipe that is truly exceptional. The perfect cake to take to gatherings...it's easy, freezes well, serves many." But in the same article, it mentions it was first seen in Southern Living in 1978, submitted by Mrs. L.H. Wiggins of Greensboro, N.C.
Shit, Kendra, you were born in 1978. You're Victorian. Mom should throw you over the back of her couch.
Wikipedia has nothing, which really, really bothers me.
Anyway, it's delicious. The cupcakes, I mean. I'm going to try Miss Mary Bobo's recipe next, and I have a feeling it's going to be even better. After all, Ms. Elinor Klivans lives in Maine, and therefore, in my mind, probably doesn't know too much about Southern cakes, Victorian or otherwise.
(that wasn't meant to sound as bitchy as it did...you know how I am)
Hummingbird Swirls
Makes: 12 big-top cupcakes
1 1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup sour cream
3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup mashed banana (1 banana)
1/2 cup canned crushed pineapple in its own juice, drained (8 oz can is what I used)
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the egg, yolk, and sugar on medium speed until the mix is thick and cream-colored, roughly two minutes. Stop the mixer and scrape the bowl if necessary. On a low speed, mix in the oil and vanilla until blended. Continue mixing and add the sour cream until completely blended. Mix in the flour mixture until the batter is smooth. Add the banana, pineapple, and pecans until completely blended.
Fill the cupcake liners with 1/3 cup of batter, to about 1/4 of an inch from the top of the liner.
Bake the cupcakes until the tops are golden and when a toothpick is inserted comes out clean (about 25 minutes).
Okay, the frosting. Everyone has their own cream cheese frosting recipe, I know, but I went ahead and used hers. Mine doesn't have butter. Hers tasted exactly like mine, though, so who knows. (Obviously, make sure your cupcakes are cooled before frosting.)
Cream Cheese Frosting
Makes: 3 cups (which is a bit too much for these cupcakes if you aren't piping them - I just frosted mine like a normal, un-fancy person with a plain old spatula and had a lot of icing left over. I wonder though, if I had piped it on, if I would have had enough. Eyeball this.)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
6 oz cream cheese, at room temperature (I used 8 oz...I am not about to cut up cream cheese and have 2 oz leftover)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups powdered sugar (You'll need way more, unless you are looking for your frosting to slide over the edge of your cupcake. Eyeball this too.)
Beat the butter, cream cheese, and vanilla on low until smooth, roughly one minute. Add the powdered sugar, mixing until smooth, about one minute. Beat for an additional minute to lighten the frosting.
I really wouldn't make any changes, as far as I recall (the cupcakes are long gone). All of her approximations (about 2 minutes, roughly 1 minute, baking time, etc.) were spot on, as I ran my kitchen timer to see. The only issue was with the frosting, which I made note of. I have a problem with every frosting recipe, though - they never tell you to use enough powdered sugar.
I know the recipe looks like a lot of work, but it's not. If you mise en place the shit out of it, you're good to go.
Here are some cool facts about hummingbirds I picked up while searching for the history of the cake's name:
They have tiny little feet that are only good for perching, scratching or preening. This means if they wish to move, even a few inches, they must fly.
They have very good memories and will even be able to remember where they found food from the previous year.
Hummingbirds will sometimes attack larger birds, even hawks or crows!
Early Spanish explorers called them Flying Jewels.
With no feather the average hummer is about the size of a bumblebee.
They can starve to death in about an hour.
They apparently do not eat cupcakes.
Maple Pecan Thumbprints and Lemon Pecan Snowdrops
Merry Christmas! Hope everyone had a great one, full of fun and family and, of course, food!
Here are the two things I make every year without fail:
Lemon Pecan Snowdrops (more commonly known to us as Lemon Balls; these are my MIL's favorite!)
Cookie
1 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup pecans, finely chopped
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon peel
Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon, softened
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon zest
1 to 3 tablespoons milk
Topping
Coarse grain white sugar
Heat oven to 325°F. Combine 1 cup butter and sugar in large bowl. Beat at medium speed until creamy. Reduce speed to low; add flour, pecans and 1 tablespoon lemon zest. Beat until dough forms.
Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place 1-inch apart onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes or until set. Cool on cookie sheets 1 minute; remove to cooling rack. Cool completely.
Meanwhile, combine all glaze ingredients except milk in medium bowl. Beat at medium speed, gradually adding enough milk for desired dipping consistency. Pour glaze into small bowl.
Dip tops of cooled cookies into glaze; shake off excess glaze. Place onto waxed paper; sprinkle tops with coarse grain sugar. Let stand until glaze is set (about 1 hour). Store in loosely covered container between sheets of waxed paper.
Maple Pecan Thumbprints (MY favorite!)
Cookie:
1 c. butter, softened
2/3 c. sugar
1 T. vanilla
2 1/4 c. flour
1/4 t. salt
1 1/4 c. finely chopped pecans
1 egg white, slightly beaten
Heat oven to 375.
Combine butter, sugar and vanilla in a large bowl and beat at med speed until creamy. Reduce speed to low; add flour and salt and beat until dough forms.
Put pecans in a small bowl. Shape dough into 1-inch round balls. Dip each ball into egg white and then roll in pecans. Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets. Make indentation in the center of each cookie with your thumb or back of teaspoon. Bake 11-13 minutes or until very light browned and set. Cool completely.
Frosting:
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar, sifted
3 T. butter, melted
2 T. Milk
3/4 tsp maple extract
Combine all in small mixing bowl. Beat at low speed until smooth. Fill centers of each cooled cookie.
Here are the two things I make every year without fail:
Lemon Pecan Snowdrops (more commonly known to us as Lemon Balls; these are my MIL's favorite!)
Cookie
1 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup pecans, finely chopped
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon peel
Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon, softened
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon zest
1 to 3 tablespoons milk
Topping
Coarse grain white sugar
Heat oven to 325°F. Combine 1 cup butter and sugar in large bowl. Beat at medium speed until creamy. Reduce speed to low; add flour, pecans and 1 tablespoon lemon zest. Beat until dough forms.
Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place 1-inch apart onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes or until set. Cool on cookie sheets 1 minute; remove to cooling rack. Cool completely.
Meanwhile, combine all glaze ingredients except milk in medium bowl. Beat at medium speed, gradually adding enough milk for desired dipping consistency. Pour glaze into small bowl.
Dip tops of cooled cookies into glaze; shake off excess glaze. Place onto waxed paper; sprinkle tops with coarse grain sugar. Let stand until glaze is set (about 1 hour). Store in loosely covered container between sheets of waxed paper.
Maple Pecan Thumbprints (MY favorite!)
Cookie:
1 c. butter, softened
2/3 c. sugar
1 T. vanilla
2 1/4 c. flour
1/4 t. salt
1 1/4 c. finely chopped pecans
1 egg white, slightly beaten
Heat oven to 375.
Combine butter, sugar and vanilla in a large bowl and beat at med speed until creamy. Reduce speed to low; add flour and salt and beat until dough forms.
Put pecans in a small bowl. Shape dough into 1-inch round balls. Dip each ball into egg white and then roll in pecans. Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets. Make indentation in the center of each cookie with your thumb or back of teaspoon. Bake 11-13 minutes or until very light browned and set. Cool completely.
Frosting:
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar, sifted
3 T. butter, melted
2 T. Milk
3/4 tsp maple extract
Combine all in small mixing bowl. Beat at low speed until smooth. Fill centers of each cooled cookie.
(Both of these recipes come from some magazine Land O'Lakes put out - this is in tiny print because the magazine is REALLY OBNOXIOUS, putting their brand name in every ingredient list. But I ain't no thief! Except for the part where I stole their pictures.)
Terrible Cheesecake in 12 Easy Steps
To celebrate the holidays, I made a terrible cheesecake. You can make your own with these simple instructions!
Step 1: Start with this easy basic cheesecake recipe:
________________________________
BASIC CHEESECAKE
1½ cup graham cracker crumbs
4 tbs melted butter
1 cup sugar, plus 2 tbs for crust
24 oz cream cheese, room temperature
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbs heavy whipping cream
Oven temp: 350
In a small bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, and 2 tablespoons of sugar. After mixing well, press into the bottom of a springform pan that’s been lined with thick foil and greased. Set aside.
In a large bowl, combine room temperature cream cheese, eggs, vanilla, whipping cream and 1 cup sugar. Beat until smooth and creamy. Pour batter into the cheesecake pan and cook for 35–40 minutes. When the center is mostly set, remove from oven and run a knife around the edge of the pan. Allow to cool completely before topping or removing from pan.
You can add fruit topping after the cake is done, if desired.
For chocolate cheesecake, add a bag of melted chocolate chips to the mixture and use chocolate cookie crumbs for the crust. The vanilla can be substituted with any flavoring extract. It is a very flexible basic recipe that can be changed to incorporate any favorite flavor.
________________________________
We'll be making chocolate cheesecake today, so have your Oreo crumbs and melted chips on hand.
Step 2: When purchasing supplies to make your cheesecake, be sure the store is out of good quality cream cheese. Panic and buy the store brand. It probably doesn't make that much difference, but when things fall apart later, this will be a handy scapegoat.
Step 3: The recipe does not say how to mix your cheesecake batter, so just assume. Instead of carefully folding the delicate ingredients together by hand with a large spoon, just use your mixer. Remember, the quality of the cream cheese is subpar, so you may want to use high-speed to try to get the damn stuff smooth and creamy. Of course, that'll never happen - but you will beat a lot of air into the mixture so that, later, the whole cake will puff up in the oven then collapse like a failure souflee.
Step 4: Overbake your cheesecake. Since the last one you made never set in the center, overcompensate and leave THIS one in the oven, like, ten minutes longer. The texture will be tough and chewy, but the goddamn center will be set.
Step 5: Allow the cake to cool completely before removing the springform pan. When transferring it to a serving platter, the cheesecake should crack in every direction, and part of one side should crumble and slide into a lumpy pudding pile.
Step 6: Become just a little bit annoyed.
Step 7: Chill the cheesecake in the fridge overnight. When you take it out the next morning to top it, get a gooooood, long look at your work in the harsh light of day.
Step 8: Carefully cut away the collapsed section of your cheesecake with a butter knife. Slop it into a bowl and eat it with a spoon.
Step 9: Prepare a simple chocolate ganache by melting chocolate chips with a little heavy cream in the microwave. In the spirit of continuity, overcook the ganache until it's grainy and lumpy.
Step 10: Transfer the ganache to a small Ziploc bag, and cut off a tiny bit of one corner to make a little icing bag! You should be able to squeeze the ganache through the hole in the bag to make a pretty, drizzled pattern on top of what's left of your cheesecake. Squeeze too hard, so the bag bursts and all the ganache dumps out. You may be able to hear it laughing at you.
Step 11: FINE JUST SMEAR THE GANACHE ACROSS THE TOP WHO CARES AT THIS POINT
Step 12: Sprinkle with mini chocolate chips. Slap some lipstick on that pig!
Now you have your very own terrible cheesecake for Christmas. It tastes fine. Not perfect, maybe, and certainly not beautiful or guest-worthy. But you fucking have cheesecake, so what are you crying about?
Try to wait til at least 5:00pm before you break out the "special occasion" bottle of Jagermeister you keep in your freezer.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Step 1: Start with this easy basic cheesecake recipe:
________________________________
BASIC CHEESECAKE
1½ cup graham cracker crumbs
4 tbs melted butter
1 cup sugar, plus 2 tbs for crust
24 oz cream cheese, room temperature
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbs heavy whipping cream
Oven temp: 350
In a small bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, and 2 tablespoons of sugar. After mixing well, press into the bottom of a springform pan that’s been lined with thick foil and greased. Set aside.
In a large bowl, combine room temperature cream cheese, eggs, vanilla, whipping cream and 1 cup sugar. Beat until smooth and creamy. Pour batter into the cheesecake pan and cook for 35–40 minutes. When the center is mostly set, remove from oven and run a knife around the edge of the pan. Allow to cool completely before topping or removing from pan.
You can add fruit topping after the cake is done, if desired.
For chocolate cheesecake, add a bag of melted chocolate chips to the mixture and use chocolate cookie crumbs for the crust. The vanilla can be substituted with any flavoring extract. It is a very flexible basic recipe that can be changed to incorporate any favorite flavor.
________________________________
We'll be making chocolate cheesecake today, so have your Oreo crumbs and melted chips on hand.
Step 2: When purchasing supplies to make your cheesecake, be sure the store is out of good quality cream cheese. Panic and buy the store brand. It probably doesn't make that much difference, but when things fall apart later, this will be a handy scapegoat.
Step 3: The recipe does not say how to mix your cheesecake batter, so just assume. Instead of carefully folding the delicate ingredients together by hand with a large spoon, just use your mixer. Remember, the quality of the cream cheese is subpar, so you may want to use high-speed to try to get the damn stuff smooth and creamy. Of course, that'll never happen - but you will beat a lot of air into the mixture so that, later, the whole cake will puff up in the oven then collapse like a failure souflee.
Step 4: Overbake your cheesecake. Since the last one you made never set in the center, overcompensate and leave THIS one in the oven, like, ten minutes longer. The texture will be tough and chewy, but the goddamn center will be set.
Step 5: Allow the cake to cool completely before removing the springform pan. When transferring it to a serving platter, the cheesecake should crack in every direction, and part of one side should crumble and slide into a lumpy pudding pile.
Step 6: Become just a little bit annoyed.
Step 7: Chill the cheesecake in the fridge overnight. When you take it out the next morning to top it, get a gooooood, long look at your work in the harsh light of day.
Step 8: Carefully cut away the collapsed section of your cheesecake with a butter knife. Slop it into a bowl and eat it with a spoon.
Step 9: Prepare a simple chocolate ganache by melting chocolate chips with a little heavy cream in the microwave. In the spirit of continuity, overcook the ganache until it's grainy and lumpy.
Step 10: Transfer the ganache to a small Ziploc bag, and cut off a tiny bit of one corner to make a little icing bag! You should be able to squeeze the ganache through the hole in the bag to make a pretty, drizzled pattern on top of what's left of your cheesecake. Squeeze too hard, so the bag bursts and all the ganache dumps out. You may be able to hear it laughing at you.
Step 11: FINE JUST SMEAR THE GANACHE ACROSS THE TOP WHO CARES AT THIS POINT
Step 12: Sprinkle with mini chocolate chips. Slap some lipstick on that pig!
Now you have your very own terrible cheesecake for Christmas. It tastes fine. Not perfect, maybe, and certainly not beautiful or guest-worthy. But you fucking have cheesecake, so what are you crying about?
Try to wait til at least 5:00pm before you break out the "special occasion" bottle of Jagermeister you keep in your freezer.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Creamed Spinach Casserole, Corn Pudding, Cherry Cream Crumble Pie
Holy shit, you guys.
Holy shit.
Kendra, I bet when you signed in to write your own last couple blog posts you noticed I had this draft up. I was totally preparing to write this big spectacular post about what I make at Christmas time - and then I was going to post a recipe for every day leading up to Christmas.
Awesome, right?
Yeah, well. The internet was down at work ALLLLL WEEEEEEKKKKKK and when I get home I am too busy actually cooking these things to write about them, or stirring Hamburger Helper, or trying to take the frozen pizza out without putting down my Jack-and-Coke.
So I'm going to cram it all into two posts - one dedicated to our Christmas supper at Christy and Jay's, and one for the desserts I brought to my in-laws' house this past weekend.
Christy is not a cook. Seriously. She will straight up tell you, let me clean up your mess, but you do the cooking. So, alright. We sat down the Wednesday before our Saturday night dinner to plan what we were going to cook. A lot of our menu came from my cookbooks - including The Book, which if anyone asks, I'll let Kendra handle that particular question. The Book is overwhelming, to say the least.
Here is our menu:
Garlic Studded Pot Roast (only difference here is we do ours on the stove-top)
Creamed Spinach Casserole (pg 83 of the birthday edition of The Book)
Corn Pudding
Mashed Potatoes
Cherry Cream Crumble Pie (pg 266)
We also had rolls and old fashioned sweet potato casserole, which Christy did make. Good job, Christy!
Creamed Spinach Casserole
2 boxes or bags frozen chopped spinach, thawed
8 oz cream cheese, room temp
1/2 cup crumbled bacon bits
1 stick butter, melted
1 cup, plus 2 tbsp fresh shredded Parmesan
Mix all ingredients (except 2 tbsp cheese) in a greased casserole dish. Sprinkle the reserved cheese on top. Bake at 350 for 30 min or until bubbly.
(this was really, really good - but is GREASY. like when we took it out of the oven i was dubious. reheated, it smells really bad...but i'm not the biggest fan of cream cheese outside of desserts, or when i can straight up smell it. also: you had better like spinach)
Corn Pudding
30 oz frozen corn (changed from two 15 oz cans)
1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp salt
1 c. egg substitute (this was initially a low fat/low cholesterol recipe that I revised - this is the only part I wasn't sure about. We ended up using like 4 eggs)
1 1/2 c. milk
Combine corn, flour, sugar, and salt. Pour into greased baking dish. In a separate bowl, mix egg and milk. Pour over corn but do not stir. Bake 45-50 min, stirring gently a few times during baking.
(This is really good, but VERY BLAND. Add salt and pepper and Tony's. Add some more.)
Cherry Cream Crumble Pie
Filling:
1/2 cup sugar
3 tbsp flour
2 15 oz. cans pitted tart cherries, drained
1 cup sour cream
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/4 tsp almond extract
1 unbaked pie crust
Topping:
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup cold butter
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Preheat oven to 400.
In a large bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cherries, sour cream, egg, and extract. Spoon into the pie crust, and bake for 20 minutes.
While pie is cooking, assemble ingredients for topping. Combine the oats, flour, brown sugar,and cinnamon in a bowl. Cut in butter until mixture is coarse and crumbly. Fold in chopped pecans.
After the pie has baked 20 minutes, remove from foil and crumble the mixture on top. Cover the edges of the crust with foil to prevent over-browning, and return to oven. Bake another 25-30 minutes, or until the topping has slightly browned.
Allow to cool for 1 hour before serving.
(ok - this is awesome. it's ugly at first because it's PINK but it comes out great. bring ice cream.)
Holy shit.
Kendra, I bet when you signed in to write your own last couple blog posts you noticed I had this draft up. I was totally preparing to write this big spectacular post about what I make at Christmas time - and then I was going to post a recipe for every day leading up to Christmas.
Awesome, right?
Yeah, well. The internet was down at work ALLLLL WEEEEEEKKKKKK and when I get home I am too busy actually cooking these things to write about them, or stirring Hamburger Helper, or trying to take the frozen pizza out without putting down my Jack-and-Coke.
So I'm going to cram it all into two posts - one dedicated to our Christmas supper at Christy and Jay's, and one for the desserts I brought to my in-laws' house this past weekend.
Christy is not a cook. Seriously. She will straight up tell you, let me clean up your mess, but you do the cooking. So, alright. We sat down the Wednesday before our Saturday night dinner to plan what we were going to cook. A lot of our menu came from my cookbooks - including The Book, which if anyone asks, I'll let Kendra handle that particular question. The Book is overwhelming, to say the least.
Here is our menu:
Garlic Studded Pot Roast (only difference here is we do ours on the stove-top)
Creamed Spinach Casserole (pg 83 of the birthday edition of The Book)
Corn Pudding
Mashed Potatoes
Cherry Cream Crumble Pie (pg 266)
We also had rolls and old fashioned sweet potato casserole, which Christy did make. Good job, Christy!
Creamed Spinach Casserole
2 boxes or bags frozen chopped spinach, thawed
8 oz cream cheese, room temp
1/2 cup crumbled bacon bits
1 stick butter, melted
1 cup, plus 2 tbsp fresh shredded Parmesan
Mix all ingredients (except 2 tbsp cheese) in a greased casserole dish. Sprinkle the reserved cheese on top. Bake at 350 for 30 min or until bubbly.
(this was really, really good - but is GREASY. like when we took it out of the oven i was dubious. reheated, it smells really bad...but i'm not the biggest fan of cream cheese outside of desserts, or when i can straight up smell it. also: you had better like spinach)
Corn Pudding
30 oz frozen corn (changed from two 15 oz cans)
1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp salt
1 c. egg substitute (this was initially a low fat/low cholesterol recipe that I revised - this is the only part I wasn't sure about. We ended up using like 4 eggs)
1 1/2 c. milk
Combine corn, flour, sugar, and salt. Pour into greased baking dish. In a separate bowl, mix egg and milk. Pour over corn but do not stir. Bake 45-50 min, stirring gently a few times during baking.
(This is really good, but VERY BLAND. Add salt and pepper and Tony's. Add some more.)
Cherry Cream Crumble Pie
Filling:
1/2 cup sugar
3 tbsp flour
2 15 oz. cans pitted tart cherries, drained
1 cup sour cream
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/4 tsp almond extract
1 unbaked pie crust
Topping:
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup cold butter
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Preheat oven to 400.
In a large bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cherries, sour cream, egg, and extract. Spoon into the pie crust, and bake for 20 minutes.
While pie is cooking, assemble ingredients for topping. Combine the oats, flour, brown sugar,and cinnamon in a bowl. Cut in butter until mixture is coarse and crumbly. Fold in chopped pecans.
After the pie has baked 20 minutes, remove from foil and crumble the mixture on top. Cover the edges of the crust with foil to prevent over-browning, and return to oven. Bake another 25-30 minutes, or until the topping has slightly browned.
Allow to cool for 1 hour before serving.
(ok - this is awesome. it's ugly at first because it's PINK but it comes out great. bring ice cream.)
MERRY CHRISTMAS from some people who don't know how to use a self timer!
Maple Bundt Cake
Not that you actually made the pumpkin maple bread pudding, but let's pretend for a moment you did, and so then let's pretend you had loads and loads of maple syrup left and then let's pretend your husband doesn't like real maple syrup, he's very loyal to the overly sweet, processed taste of some Aunt Jemima.
Good.
What are you going to do with all of that maple syrup, Kendra? Are you going to eat hundreds of pancakes? Well, that's an option, sure. But make this instead. I know you liked that fig cake, so I'm guessing you'll like this, too. This is one of my favorite cakes ever, and it's so good for when the weather gets a bit colder.
Maple Bundt Cake
Cake:
2 ¾ cups cake flour
1 ¾ tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp ground ginger
½ cup milk
¾ cup maple syrup
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
2 sticks of unsalted butter (16 tbsp)
1 cup packed light brown sugar
½ cup sugar
4 eggs, lightly beaten
Glaze:
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
4 tsp bourbon
Position a rack in the lower third of an oven and preheat to 325. Grease and flour your cake pan.
Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. Set aside. (I have a feeling I am not the only person who just stirs this stuff up instead of sifting. Does anyone enjoy SIFTING? No.)
In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, maple syrup, and vanilla. Set aside.
(It says to do this part with a flat beater, just in case you have one – I do not and a regular old beater works just lovely, thank you very much) Beat butter on medium speed until creamy and smooth, about 1 minute. Add both sugars and continue beating until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the eggs a little at a time, beating well after each addition.
Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture in three additions, alternating with the milk mixture and beginning and ending with the flour. Beat each addition just until incorporated, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Spoon the batter into the prepared pan, spreading the batter so the sides are higher than the center. Bake until the cake begins to pull away from the sides of the pan and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 60 to 65 minutes. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let the cake cool upright in the pan for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile (back at the ranch), make the glaze: In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stir the ingredients and simmer until the mixture has reduced slightly and is a bit tacky, 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
Tap the cake gently on a work surface to loosen the cake. Remove from pan and using a pastry brush, brush the cake with the glaze. Let the cake cook completely, at least 2 hours, before serving (this part is bullshit – eat it while it’s warm).
(This recipe is from Williams-Sonoma, and came with their autumn leaf bundt pan, should anyone like to know. I think it was last year's collection. It's a gorgeous pan, but I prefer just a regular old bundt pan, because the leaves have never come out crisp or clear for me, especially after the glaze.)
Oh, here is the pan:
Good.
What are you going to do with all of that maple syrup, Kendra? Are you going to eat hundreds of pancakes? Well, that's an option, sure. But make this instead. I know you liked that fig cake, so I'm guessing you'll like this, too. This is one of my favorite cakes ever, and it's so good for when the weather gets a bit colder.
Maple Bundt Cake
Cake:
2 ¾ cups cake flour
1 ¾ tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp ground ginger
½ cup milk
¾ cup maple syrup
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
2 sticks of unsalted butter (16 tbsp)
1 cup packed light brown sugar
½ cup sugar
4 eggs, lightly beaten
Glaze:
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
4 tsp bourbon
Position a rack in the lower third of an oven and preheat to 325. Grease and flour your cake pan.
Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. Set aside. (I have a feeling I am not the only person who just stirs this stuff up instead of sifting. Does anyone enjoy SIFTING? No.)
In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, maple syrup, and vanilla. Set aside.
(It says to do this part with a flat beater, just in case you have one – I do not and a regular old beater works just lovely, thank you very much) Beat butter on medium speed until creamy and smooth, about 1 minute. Add both sugars and continue beating until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the eggs a little at a time, beating well after each addition.
Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture in three additions, alternating with the milk mixture and beginning and ending with the flour. Beat each addition just until incorporated, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Spoon the batter into the prepared pan, spreading the batter so the sides are higher than the center. Bake until the cake begins to pull away from the sides of the pan and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 60 to 65 minutes. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let the cake cool upright in the pan for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile (back at the ranch), make the glaze: In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stir the ingredients and simmer until the mixture has reduced slightly and is a bit tacky, 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
Tap the cake gently on a work surface to loosen the cake. Remove from pan and using a pastry brush, brush the cake with the glaze. Let the cake cook completely, at least 2 hours, before serving (this part is bullshit – eat it while it’s warm).
(This recipe is from Williams-Sonoma, and came with their autumn leaf bundt pan, should anyone like to know. I think it was last year's collection. It's a gorgeous pan, but I prefer just a regular old bundt pan, because the leaves have never come out crisp or clear for me, especially after the glaze.)
Oh, here is the pan:
Pumpkin Maple Bread Pudding
So, the lovely Amy sent me this recipe and I'm not sure where she got it from, but it's amazing. Holy shit.
I just sat down at my desk. This is the first thing I am doing this morning at work. I actually wanted to get up last night and post this. No, ok, I wanted to drive the two hours to your house in the middle of the night, crawl into bed with you, and spoon feed you a bowl of this. It's that good. You will die. Everyone is going to die when they eat this. I died.
This is everything I ever needed for fall. It's sweet and gooey, but not overpowering. It's the perfect amount of sugar, the perfect blend of spices, the perfect texture. It's absolutely unbelieveable. And it's EASY. It's so freakin' easy that I almost don't understand it. And the smell while you're cooking it? Will and I just hung out in the living room so we could be closer to the smell. We just sat around and sniffed at the air like cats.
Just...just make this. Tonight. Please.
Pumpkin Maple Bread Pudding
1.5 cups heavy cream
one 16 oz can pumpkin puree (2 cups)
4 large eggs
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (I agree with Amy here, just get it from a damn jar)
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
9 cups torn egg bread* or leftover croissaints (Albertson's makes delicious, huge, buttery croissants 4 or 6 to a pack for very cheap in the bakery...I can't remember how many come in each, but I do know I used two packs, with two croissants leftover. Or eaten before this was ever made. Whatever.)
Coat the insert of a 5-to-7 quart slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray or line with a slow-cooker liner.
Whisk all the ingredients except the bread in a large mixing bowl until smooth.
Add the bread to the bowl and stir to soak the bread.
Transfer the mixture to the slow-cooker insert.
Cover and cook on high for about 3.5 hours, until puffed and an instant-read thermometer registers 185 degrees.
Allow the pudding to rest for about 30 minutes.
THAT'S IT. Also, serve with whipped cream. Eat in bed out of tiny bowls while you watch Magnum PI on DVD because nothing good's on TV. Get seconds. Laugh at Higgins.
*I have NO IDEA what egg bread is, but it reminds me of the egg cream scene in Squirm, so I just quoted MST all night. Telling your slow cooker that you're going to Willem Dafoe all over it does not make it speed up, sadly. I accidentally married one of the sheep!
(I still have the soup recipe from Emmy to try that we had talked about...hopefully it will stop being SUMMER and we can do that soon)
I just sat down at my desk. This is the first thing I am doing this morning at work. I actually wanted to get up last night and post this. No, ok, I wanted to drive the two hours to your house in the middle of the night, crawl into bed with you, and spoon feed you a bowl of this. It's that good. You will die. Everyone is going to die when they eat this. I died.
This is everything I ever needed for fall. It's sweet and gooey, but not overpowering. It's the perfect amount of sugar, the perfect blend of spices, the perfect texture. It's absolutely unbelieveable. And it's EASY. It's so freakin' easy that I almost don't understand it. And the smell while you're cooking it? Will and I just hung out in the living room so we could be closer to the smell. We just sat around and sniffed at the air like cats.
Just...just make this. Tonight. Please.
Pumpkin Maple Bread Pudding
1.5 cups heavy cream
one 16 oz can pumpkin puree (2 cups)
4 large eggs
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (I agree with Amy here, just get it from a damn jar)
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
9 cups torn egg bread* or leftover croissaints (Albertson's makes delicious, huge, buttery croissants 4 or 6 to a pack for very cheap in the bakery...I can't remember how many come in each, but I do know I used two packs, with two croissants leftover. Or eaten before this was ever made. Whatever.)
Coat the insert of a 5-to-7 quart slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray or line with a slow-cooker liner.
Whisk all the ingredients except the bread in a large mixing bowl until smooth.
Add the bread to the bowl and stir to soak the bread.
Transfer the mixture to the slow-cooker insert.
Cover and cook on high for about 3.5 hours, until puffed and an instant-read thermometer registers 185 degrees.
Allow the pudding to rest for about 30 minutes.
THAT'S IT. Also, serve with whipped cream. Eat in bed out of tiny bowls while you watch Magnum PI on DVD because nothing good's on TV. Get seconds. Laugh at Higgins.
*I have NO IDEA what egg bread is, but it reminds me of the egg cream scene in Squirm, so I just quoted MST all night. Telling your slow cooker that you're going to Willem Dafoe all over it does not make it speed up, sadly. I accidentally married one of the sheep!
(I still have the soup recipe from Emmy to try that we had talked about...hopefully it will stop being SUMMER and we can do that soon)
Death by Chocolate Trifle
Do you have a death wish? Man, that's sad. But here, let me help you. Kill yourself with some dignity, ok? This only takes like one bowl before stopping your heart. It's a good pain, though, I promise. Oh so good.
Get you one of these. Maybe you were using it as a fruit bowl. Whatever, it makes a terrific fruit bowl:
Get you one of these. Maybe you were using it as a fruit bowl. Whatever, it makes a terrific fruit bowl:
Good job. Bake a box of this in a 13x9 pan:
Let it cool a bit. Now grab a pastry brush and brush some of this on it until it's moist, but not so soggy the brownies fall apart:
Get some of this and whip it up. You'll need a lot. I had used one of the big, big tubs of Cool Whip but I think we all agree this is tastier and is made with less plastic, now don't we? Just...make a lot:
Make two boxes of this (use full fat milk - remember, we're trying to kill you here):
Go out and buy about 8 of these. Don't buy 15 of them. Or 30, if you're making two desserts. You'll look like a dumbass and your best friend will yell across the grocery store that she doesn't acutally know you. That bitch!
Crush them up. I used a hammer. Be careful! You're not ready to meet Jesus yet, ok?
Alrighty. Back to your makeshift fruit bowl. Cut up the liquor soaked brownies (steal a couple bites, you're cool) and put about half of them in the bottom of the bowl. Put half of your pudding on top, spread it around good. Do the same with the whipping cream. Top with half of the crushed candy bars. Repeat, ending with a lovely flourish of candy bits hammered into bite size pieces...or oblivion, maybe you were mad when you were weilding the hammer. Maybe your husband was watching Die Hard and that movie is fucking stupid and can't we watch the Golden Girls? Shit. It's MY kitchen, maybe you should go to the back!
Put that in the fridge and let it get nice and cool.
Write a letter to your mama. Tell her how good it was. Oh, and write a quick e-mail to your boss letting him know you won't be returning and what a jackass he is. Doesn't that feel good? Yes, yes it does.
Chocolate Cobbler
"It's like all the flavor fell out of your brownies." - Shayne
I got this off the Pioneer Woman's Tasty Kitchen site (are y'all tired of hearing about her/her site yet? TOO BAD.) Y'all, this stuff is...weird. I'm just going to say it, it's weird.
It's not very sweet. You would think you'd be drowning in sweetness by the look of it, but...then you aren't. It's weeeeird. I could probably fix that, by upping the sugar content, but...I'm not sure it needs fixing. Because it's also warm, gooey, comforting, and made me feel like...like, you know how a cat kneads its paws on a blanket while it purrs to let you know how ridiculously, smugly satisfied it is? It made me feel like that. It made my head buzz.
(Okay that last part is probably because I don't make a lot of desserts or eat a lot of sugar, because sugar does psychedelic things to my brain. Seriously, when I went to dig in my pantry to make this, I realized all of my baking ingredients expired in May. Of 2009. So I had to buy all new stuff to make this. True, pathetic story.)
Since this stuff is not packed with sweetness on it's own, I think the most crucial ingredient involved is the ice cream you serve it with. Next to the ice cream, it's suddenly perfect. Even Shayne changed his mind and decided he liked it with the ice cream (he has a raging sweet tooth, and was clearly underwhelmed with it straight out of the oven). I used Vanilla Bean ice cream, but I think next time I'll try Homemade Vanilla, or some other more old-fashioned variety.
Y'all still here? Have I scared you away? I hope not. Weirdness aside, it's really an easy, cheap chocolate fix if you don't have the sweetest sweet tooth ever. Or if you want a bowl of warm LOVE at the end of the day.
It's just...a little weird, is all. And isn't everyone?
___________________________________________________________________
Chocolate Cobbler
• 1 cup flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• ¼ tsp salt
• 7 tbs cocoa powder, divided (I would make these heaping spoonfuls, and use a good quality cocoa because the cocoa is the whole point of this thing)
• 1¼ cup sugar, divided
• ½ cup milk
• ⅓ cup melted butter
• 1½ tsp vanilla extract
• ½ cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1½ cup hot tap water
• Vanilla ice cream, for serving
Oven temp: 350
Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt, 3 tablespoons of the cocoa, and 3/4 cup of the white sugar. Reserve the remaining cocoa and sugar.
Stir in the milk, melted butter, and vanilla to the flour mixture. Mix until smooth. Pour the mixture into an ungreased baking dish.
In a separate small bowl, mix the remaining white sugar (1/2 cup), the brown sugar, and remaining 4 tablespoons of cocoa. Sprinkle this mixture evenly over the batter.
Pour the hot tap water over the whole thing. Do not stir! (WEEEEIRD)
Bake for about 40 minutes, or until the center is set. Let stand for a few minutes to cool. Serve with homemade ice cream.
I got this off the Pioneer Woman's Tasty Kitchen site (are y'all tired of hearing about her/her site yet? TOO BAD.) Y'all, this stuff is...weird. I'm just going to say it, it's weird.
It's not very sweet. You would think you'd be drowning in sweetness by the look of it, but...then you aren't. It's weeeeird. I could probably fix that, by upping the sugar content, but...I'm not sure it needs fixing. Because it's also warm, gooey, comforting, and made me feel like...like, you know how a cat kneads its paws on a blanket while it purrs to let you know how ridiculously, smugly satisfied it is? It made me feel like that. It made my head buzz.
(Okay that last part is probably because I don't make a lot of desserts or eat a lot of sugar, because sugar does psychedelic things to my brain. Seriously, when I went to dig in my pantry to make this, I realized all of my baking ingredients expired in May. Of 2009. So I had to buy all new stuff to make this. True, pathetic story.)
Since this stuff is not packed with sweetness on it's own, I think the most crucial ingredient involved is the ice cream you serve it with. Next to the ice cream, it's suddenly perfect. Even Shayne changed his mind and decided he liked it with the ice cream (he has a raging sweet tooth, and was clearly underwhelmed with it straight out of the oven). I used Vanilla Bean ice cream, but I think next time I'll try Homemade Vanilla, or some other more old-fashioned variety.
Y'all still here? Have I scared you away? I hope not. Weirdness aside, it's really an easy, cheap chocolate fix if you don't have the sweetest sweet tooth ever. Or if you want a bowl of warm LOVE at the end of the day.
It's just...a little weird, is all. And isn't everyone?
___________________________________________________________________
Chocolate Cobbler
• 1 cup flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• ¼ tsp salt
• 7 tbs cocoa powder, divided (I would make these heaping spoonfuls, and use a good quality cocoa because the cocoa is the whole point of this thing)
• 1¼ cup sugar, divided
• ½ cup milk
• ⅓ cup melted butter
• 1½ tsp vanilla extract
• ½ cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1½ cup hot tap water
• Vanilla ice cream, for serving
Oven temp: 350
Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt, 3 tablespoons of the cocoa, and 3/4 cup of the white sugar. Reserve the remaining cocoa and sugar.
Stir in the milk, melted butter, and vanilla to the flour mixture. Mix until smooth. Pour the mixture into an ungreased baking dish.
In a separate small bowl, mix the remaining white sugar (1/2 cup), the brown sugar, and remaining 4 tablespoons of cocoa. Sprinkle this mixture evenly over the batter.
Pour the hot tap water over the whole thing. Do not stir! (WEEEEIRD)
Bake for about 40 minutes, or until the center is set. Let stand for a few minutes to cool. Serve with homemade ice cream.
Fig Cake with Caramel Glaze
I finally sat down and thumbed through most of my cookbooks and found recipes that would go with my list without breaking the bank (I totally just typed “banking the break”) on extra ingredients. The one I thought would be the hardest was my jar of fig preserves my grandma gave me.
I am not a huge fan of figs. My parents and grandparents both have a couple of trees, but I’ve only ever had them preserved. If you’ve never had them, they are…well, when you open the jar, they smell kind of like honey and spices and they look like testicles. There, I sad it. They are sickly sweet and sticky sticky and they look like balls. To me. Small, sticky balls. No, I don’t want them with my biscuits.
I have never told my grandma this because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, I like the way she smiles when she hands me a jar of figs, and because there is always someone who is less fortunate and grandma-less who will take them off my hands. So, let’s keep all of this a secret. Also, I can’t say “testicles” to my grandma. No way.
When I first started searching for fig recipes, I had a pizza in mind. Fig pizzas seem to be pretty prevalent on the internet and in my books – but they all called for fresh figs. I started to look at pies and cakes and they all needed fresh figs. I considered just using my fig preserves, but I really didn’t want to fuck it up.
I finally came across a cake that I decided to try. I made it last night while my friend was over and we smelled it baking and our mouths watered. I took it out of the oven and it fell apart (totally my fault – I’m terrible with Bundt pans and I also have zero patience for letting things cool completely), so we got to pick at it before and after the caramel glaze. For two girls who really don’t care for figs, we went to town on that cake. And the glaze…the glaaaaze. This cake is best friend and husband approved.
Anyway, if you live in the south chances are you have a pantry stocked full of figs and pecans, so get baking. I insist you make this amazing, super-easy cake. The only thing I had to buy to make it was a carton of whipping cream, and they have a pretty good shelf (fridge) life, so I will probably make two more cakes – one for the work dudes, and work to take to grandma. You know, to thank her for the figs.
FIG CAKE WITH CARAMEL SAUCE
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
4 ounces butter, melted
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup fig preserves
1 cup chopped pecans
Heat oven to 325°. Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt or tube cake pan or spray with baking spray.
Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, and spices in a large mixing bowl; add butter and oil and beat well. Add eggs and beat until well blended. Beat in buttermilk and vanilla. Stir in preserves and chopped pecans. Pour into the prepared baking pan; bake for 55 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick or cake tester inserted into the cake comes out clean.
CARAMEL GLAZE
4 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
In a saucepan over medium-low heat, melt the butter. Stir in sugars. Cook the butter and sugar mixture, stirring, for 1 minute or until bubbly. Stir in the heavy cream. Bring to a boil. Cook the mixture, stirring constantly, for 2 minutes.
Remove from heat and cool slightly. Spoon the caramel glaze over a completely cooled cake.
I am not a huge fan of figs. My parents and grandparents both have a couple of trees, but I’ve only ever had them preserved. If you’ve never had them, they are…well, when you open the jar, they smell kind of like honey and spices and they look like testicles. There, I sad it. They are sickly sweet and sticky sticky and they look like balls. To me. Small, sticky balls. No, I don’t want them with my biscuits.
I have never told my grandma this because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, I like the way she smiles when she hands me a jar of figs, and because there is always someone who is less fortunate and grandma-less who will take them off my hands. So, let’s keep all of this a secret. Also, I can’t say “testicles” to my grandma. No way.
When I first started searching for fig recipes, I had a pizza in mind. Fig pizzas seem to be pretty prevalent on the internet and in my books – but they all called for fresh figs. I started to look at pies and cakes and they all needed fresh figs. I considered just using my fig preserves, but I really didn’t want to fuck it up.
I finally came across a cake that I decided to try. I made it last night while my friend was over and we smelled it baking and our mouths watered. I took it out of the oven and it fell apart (totally my fault – I’m terrible with Bundt pans and I also have zero patience for letting things cool completely), so we got to pick at it before and after the caramel glaze. For two girls who really don’t care for figs, we went to town on that cake. And the glaze…the glaaaaze. This cake is best friend and husband approved.
Anyway, if you live in the south chances are you have a pantry stocked full of figs and pecans, so get baking. I insist you make this amazing, super-easy cake. The only thing I had to buy to make it was a carton of whipping cream, and they have a pretty good shelf (fridge) life, so I will probably make two more cakes – one for the work dudes, and work to take to grandma. You know, to thank her for the figs.
FIG CAKE WITH CARAMEL SAUCE
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
4 ounces butter, melted
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup fig preserves
1 cup chopped pecans
Heat oven to 325°. Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt or tube cake pan or spray with baking spray.
Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, and spices in a large mixing bowl; add butter and oil and beat well. Add eggs and beat until well blended. Beat in buttermilk and vanilla. Stir in preserves and chopped pecans. Pour into the prepared baking pan; bake for 55 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick or cake tester inserted into the cake comes out clean.
CARAMEL GLAZE
4 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
In a saucepan over medium-low heat, melt the butter. Stir in sugars. Cook the butter and sugar mixture, stirring, for 1 minute or until bubbly. Stir in the heavy cream. Bring to a boil. Cook the mixture, stirring constantly, for 2 minutes.
Remove from heat and cool slightly. Spoon the caramel glaze over a completely cooled cake.
Caramelized Banana Tarts
These are the banana tarts I made for 4th of July that I mentioned in a previous post. The recipe comes from a book I picked up somewhere along the way: Celebrating Cobblers and Pies. The book is great, but a little over-the-top. This seemed easy enough for a Saturday, and once you have everything prepped and cooled, it runs pretty smoothly. There are some lapses while waiting, but I like that because I can use that time to clean up the mess I'm making.
There's a lot of components here, so try and keep up. It may get a little confusing when it's all laid out like this.
Almond Tart Dough:
Ingredients:
2 sticks very cold unsalted butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup blanched almonds, finely ground
1 egg
2 tablespoons cold water
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
Put butter and 1/4 cup powdered sugar in food processor fitted with a metal blade. On pulse setting, mix for two minutes.
Add almonds and remaining sugar and pulse for another two minutes, until mixture is smooth.
Add egg, water, salt, and half the flour. Pulse for another two minutes, until mixture forms dough. Add remaining flour and pulse for another minute, until ball of dough is formed. Remove ball of dough from processor, cover in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least an hour before use.
(I don't have a full sized processor, so I used my stand mixer and it worked just fine. The dough wasn't tough or thick at all, so it would probably even work with a hand mixer.)
Pastry Cream:
(makes 3 cups)
Ingredients:
2 cups whole milk
1/2 cup sugar
6 egg yolks
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 tbsp flour
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
In a small saucepan, bring milk and 1/4 c sugar to a boil.
Meanwhile, in medium bowl, whisk yolks together with remaining 1/4 cup of sugar, cornstarch, flour, and vanilla extract until thick and well blended.
Once milk has reached a boil, lower heart to very low. using whisk, gradually add egg yolk mixture, stirring constantly until bubbles appear and mixture has pudding-like consistency (about 5 minutes). Remove pan from heat at once.
Pour cream into clean bowl and press a piece of plastic wrap against surface to create airtight seal. Refrigerate cream until cold.
Put it all together to make a banana tart:
Ingredients:
almond tart dough
1 egg, beaten
2 cups pastry cream
6 ripe bananas, cut into 1/4" slices
1/4 cup sugar
Equipment:
6 3" tartlet pans
parchment paper
pie weights of dried beans
pastry bag with 1/4" round tip
Preheat oven to 375. Working on a well-floured surface, roll out dough to a thickness of about 1/8" inch. Using a 4 in" ring or large cookies cutter, cut out six circles of dough and place on in each pan, using your fingers to gently press dough into bottom and up sides. Using a fork, make several holes in dough. Trim excess edges of dough.
Cover pans with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
Place a 6" circle of parchment paper over dough in each pan. Weight down paper with pie weights or dried beans. Bake for 20 minutes.
Remove pie weights of beans and parchment paper, and brush crusts with beaten egg. Bake for another 3 minutes. Remove from oven and place on wire rack until crusts reach room temperature.
Fill a pastry bag with pastry cream and fill crusts, starting at edges and ending in the center. pipe in a circular motion to achieve and even layer.
Arrange banana slices evenly on top, covering all of the cream.
Sprinkle sugar evenly over bananas. use kitchen torch of broiler to brown the sugar until it bubbles and darkens. Wait until bubbles subside before serving.
---------------------------------------------
Alllll right, there were some THINGS. First of all, I couldn't find 3" tartlets at the last minute, so I used a combination of 4 and 6. That's not important information, but I thought I'd throw that out there and say hey! They worked out fine. Because I'm the kind of person who has panic attacks over differences like that.
I would only bake it for about 15 minutes the first time. They came out very browned for shells that were gonna be stuck back in the oven. After the egg white, maybe 2 minutes tops.
Do you have a kitchen torch? I do not. Why does a normal person like me need a kitchen torch? I LOVE getting my hands on the more complicated kitchen utensils, but I have never had a desire for a torch. So I used my broiler, and hoo-boy, did these puppies burn around the edges. I ended up having to construct tiny 4" foil turtlenecks for each tartlet. Say that five times fast.
Will I ever make this again? Er, no, probably not. Do I hope someone else makes them and sends me some, frozen and Fed-exed? Yes!
There's a lot of components here, so try and keep up. It may get a little confusing when it's all laid out like this.
Almond Tart Dough:
Ingredients:
2 sticks very cold unsalted butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup blanched almonds, finely ground
1 egg
2 tablespoons cold water
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
Put butter and 1/4 cup powdered sugar in food processor fitted with a metal blade. On pulse setting, mix for two minutes.
Add almonds and remaining sugar and pulse for another two minutes, until mixture is smooth.
Add egg, water, salt, and half the flour. Pulse for another two minutes, until mixture forms dough. Add remaining flour and pulse for another minute, until ball of dough is formed. Remove ball of dough from processor, cover in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least an hour before use.
(I don't have a full sized processor, so I used my stand mixer and it worked just fine. The dough wasn't tough or thick at all, so it would probably even work with a hand mixer.)
Pastry Cream:
(makes 3 cups)
Ingredients:
2 cups whole milk
1/2 cup sugar
6 egg yolks
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 tbsp flour
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
In a small saucepan, bring milk and 1/4 c sugar to a boil.
Meanwhile, in medium bowl, whisk yolks together with remaining 1/4 cup of sugar, cornstarch, flour, and vanilla extract until thick and well blended.
Once milk has reached a boil, lower heart to very low. using whisk, gradually add egg yolk mixture, stirring constantly until bubbles appear and mixture has pudding-like consistency (about 5 minutes). Remove pan from heat at once.
Pour cream into clean bowl and press a piece of plastic wrap against surface to create airtight seal. Refrigerate cream until cold.
Put it all together to make a banana tart:
Ingredients:
almond tart dough
1 egg, beaten
2 cups pastry cream
6 ripe bananas, cut into 1/4" slices
1/4 cup sugar
Equipment:
6 3" tartlet pans
parchment paper
pie weights of dried beans
pastry bag with 1/4" round tip
Preheat oven to 375. Working on a well-floured surface, roll out dough to a thickness of about 1/8" inch. Using a 4 in" ring or large cookies cutter, cut out six circles of dough and place on in each pan, using your fingers to gently press dough into bottom and up sides. Using a fork, make several holes in dough. Trim excess edges of dough.
Cover pans with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
Place a 6" circle of parchment paper over dough in each pan. Weight down paper with pie weights or dried beans. Bake for 20 minutes.
Remove pie weights of beans and parchment paper, and brush crusts with beaten egg. Bake for another 3 minutes. Remove from oven and place on wire rack until crusts reach room temperature.
Fill a pastry bag with pastry cream and fill crusts, starting at edges and ending in the center. pipe in a circular motion to achieve and even layer.
Arrange banana slices evenly on top, covering all of the cream.
Sprinkle sugar evenly over bananas. use kitchen torch of broiler to brown the sugar until it bubbles and darkens. Wait until bubbles subside before serving.
---------------------------------------------
Alllll right, there were some THINGS. First of all, I couldn't find 3" tartlets at the last minute, so I used a combination of 4 and 6. That's not important information, but I thought I'd throw that out there and say hey! They worked out fine. Because I'm the kind of person who has panic attacks over differences like that.
I would only bake it for about 15 minutes the first time. They came out very browned for shells that were gonna be stuck back in the oven. After the egg white, maybe 2 minutes tops.
Do you have a kitchen torch? I do not. Why does a normal person like me need a kitchen torch? I LOVE getting my hands on the more complicated kitchen utensils, but I have never had a desire for a torch. So I used my broiler, and hoo-boy, did these puppies burn around the edges. I ended up having to construct tiny 4" foil turtlenecks for each tartlet. Say that five times fast.
Will I ever make this again? Er, no, probably not. Do I hope someone else makes them and sends me some, frozen and Fed-exed? Yes!
Lemon Bars and Caramel Swirl Brownies
I haven’t cooked in what feels like ages. I plan my weekly meals two weeks in advance and I got through one week but last week I just…quit. I threw in the dishtowel (literally) and said nuh-uh, we’re going to Popeye’s. I can’t tell you what I’ve been eating because I have no idea, but Will’s been noshing on fish sticks and French fries and tater tots and frozen pizza. I have the dishwasher full of salt-encrusted pans to prove it. Last night I got home from running on the treadmill and I stood over the sink and ate plums from the grandparents’ tree until I couldn’t stand on my wibbly legs anymore, than I went to bed. At 8:30.
What I’m trying to tell y’all is that I’m PMSing in a way only these two sisters can. And I’m bringing my nutritional needs down with me.
This weekend I did, for whatever ridiculous reason, decide to make THREE BATCHES EACH of brownies and lemons bars. So I’ll share those recipes.
First of all, pretty much the only food blogger I trust WHOLE HEARTEDLY (she hasn’t let me down yet!) is Whitney from Rookie Cookie. This lady knows her stuff. Also, I just went back and edited out an f-bomb in case she ever sees that I linked her. Obviously she is powerful.
Caramel Swirled Brownies
25 caramels, unwrapped
¼ cup evaporated milk
1 cup flour
¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
½ cup butter, cut into small pieces
8 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped into small pieces
1¼ cup sugar
3 eggs
Set oven to 350 degrees. Spray an 8 inch pan with non-stick spray. Line bottom and two sides with a strip of parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on the two sides. Spray paper and set pan aside.
In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine caramels and evaporated milk. Melt caramels, stirring often, until smooth. Once melted, remove from heat and set aside. Stir occasionally while preparing brownies.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Whisk to combine and set aside.
In a heat-proof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, melt chocolate and butter, stirring occasionally. Once melted, remove bowl from the saucepan. Whisk in sugar and eggs. With a spatula, stir in flour mixture until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pan. Drizzle caramel sauce over the top of the batter and swirl with a butter knife.
Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let cool for 20 minutes and remove brownies from the pan using the parchment overhang. Cut into squares.
(makes 9 brownies)
Lemon Bars
For the crust:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1/8 tsp salt
For the filling:
6 eggs
3 cups sugar
2 Tbsp lemon zest (4 to 6 lemons)
1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 cup flour
Powdered sugar, for dusting
Set oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x13 inch pan with non-stick spray and set aside.
For the crust, cream the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Combine the flour and salt and with the mixer on low, add to the butter until just mixed. Flatten the dough with floured hands and press it into the prepared pan, building up a 1/2 inch edge on all sides. Chill for 15 minutes.
Bake the crust for 15 to 20 minutes, until very lightly browned. Let cool on a wire rack. Leave the oven on.
For the filling, whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice, and flour. Pour over the crust (crust does not need to be completely cooled) and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the filling is set. Let cool to room temperature.
Cut into squares and dust with powdered sugar.
My only issue was these was the baking times, but I think my oven is wonky. Both were great, but they were downright FANTASTIC the next day. And the day after. I know, because one batch came to work and I’ve been eating them nonstop.
Tonight we’re having spaghetti (sauce from a jar, meatballs from the freezer) if you were wondering. Lemon Bars for dessert!
I am going to dip my toe back in the cooking water in this next couple weeks and try out your chicken (more pictures of the baby eating, please) and a BBQ chicken quesadilla recipe that Emmy brought to my attention. Mom said you declined the offer of her quesadilla maker, so I took her up on it and giiiirl, that is all I want to make. That is pretty much all I ever wanted to make before, but now it’s easier.
What I’m trying to tell y’all is that I’m PMSing in a way only these two sisters can. And I’m bringing my nutritional needs down with me.
This weekend I did, for whatever ridiculous reason, decide to make THREE BATCHES EACH of brownies and lemons bars. So I’ll share those recipes.
First of all, pretty much the only food blogger I trust WHOLE HEARTEDLY (she hasn’t let me down yet!) is Whitney from Rookie Cookie. This lady knows her stuff. Also, I just went back and edited out an f-bomb in case she ever sees that I linked her. Obviously she is powerful.
Caramel Swirled Brownies
25 caramels, unwrapped
¼ cup evaporated milk
1 cup flour
¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
½ cup butter, cut into small pieces
8 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped into small pieces
1¼ cup sugar
3 eggs
Set oven to 350 degrees. Spray an 8 inch pan with non-stick spray. Line bottom and two sides with a strip of parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on the two sides. Spray paper and set pan aside.
In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine caramels and evaporated milk. Melt caramels, stirring often, until smooth. Once melted, remove from heat and set aside. Stir occasionally while preparing brownies.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Whisk to combine and set aside.
In a heat-proof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, melt chocolate and butter, stirring occasionally. Once melted, remove bowl from the saucepan. Whisk in sugar and eggs. With a spatula, stir in flour mixture until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pan. Drizzle caramel sauce over the top of the batter and swirl with a butter knife.
Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let cool for 20 minutes and remove brownies from the pan using the parchment overhang. Cut into squares.
(makes 9 brownies)
Lemon Bars
For the crust:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1/8 tsp salt
For the filling:
6 eggs
3 cups sugar
2 Tbsp lemon zest (4 to 6 lemons)
1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 cup flour
Powdered sugar, for dusting
Set oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x13 inch pan with non-stick spray and set aside.
For the crust, cream the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Combine the flour and salt and with the mixer on low, add to the butter until just mixed. Flatten the dough with floured hands and press it into the prepared pan, building up a 1/2 inch edge on all sides. Chill for 15 minutes.
Bake the crust for 15 to 20 minutes, until very lightly browned. Let cool on a wire rack. Leave the oven on.
For the filling, whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice, and flour. Pour over the crust (crust does not need to be completely cooled) and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the filling is set. Let cool to room temperature.
Cut into squares and dust with powdered sugar.
My only issue was these was the baking times, but I think my oven is wonky. Both were great, but they were downright FANTASTIC the next day. And the day after. I know, because one batch came to work and I’ve been eating them nonstop.
Tonight we’re having spaghetti (sauce from a jar, meatballs from the freezer) if you were wondering. Lemon Bars for dessert!
I am going to dip my toe back in the cooking water in this next couple weeks and try out your chicken (more pictures of the baby eating, please) and a BBQ chicken quesadilla recipe that Emmy brought to my attention. Mom said you declined the offer of her quesadilla maker, so I took her up on it and giiiirl, that is all I want to make. That is pretty much all I ever wanted to make before, but now it’s easier.
Apple Oatmeal Cookies (and pizza results)
The pizza turned out ok…it definitely needs improvement. I browned the sausage in a pan with onion and red pepper, added a little salt and Tony’s and my spinach and cooked until the spinach was juuuuust wilted…brushed the dough with olive oil and a LITTLE bit of pesto (because I just CAN’T SAY NO TO PESTO) and put my meat and veggies on. I did one half mozzarella and one half provolone. If I ever decide to do this again, I will add more salt, stick with full provolone (I just love provolone and sausage together, although this is the first time I’ve used it with smoked sausage and not ground Italian on a pizza), and brave the rainstorm to get some fresh basil out of the garden. This would have been SO GOOD with fresh basil! It was edible though and was done it no time, since I didn’t make a homemade crust. If you have some sausage lying around (and I’m pretty sure you do), try it!
I tweeted about Apple Oatmeal cookies and my buddy Danielle asked for the recipe, so here it is. Keep in mind this is another Weight Watchers diet recipe, so it’s not at all sweet and probably not that good in comparison to “real” cookies. I loved them, but if I ever made them for others, I would add sugar…then they would be awesome. As is, they are alright.
Apple Oatmeal Cookies
(makes 12 cookies)
1 ½ cups quick-cooking oats, toasted*
½ cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon**
¼ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
¼ cups light brown sugar, packed
¼ cup butter
1 apple, peeled, cored, and grated
1 egg
½ tsp vanilla extract
¼ cup raisins
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine oats, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
Cream brown sugar and butter until pale and fluffy. Add the apple, egg, and vanilla, beat until combined. Add the oats mixture, stir to blend, then stir in raisins.
Drop by tablespoons onto a greased baking sheet; flatten with the back of a spoon. Bake until lightly browned, 12-15 minutes.
*just put your oatmeal in a non-stick skillet over medium heat and toast ‘em on the stove for a couple of minutes, keep stirring!
**my secret ingredient to everything ever is nutmeg. If it calls for cinnamon, go ahead and put that in, and then throw in a bit of nutmeg for extra oomph.
I tweeted about Apple Oatmeal cookies and my buddy Danielle asked for the recipe, so here it is. Keep in mind this is another Weight Watchers diet recipe, so it’s not at all sweet and probably not that good in comparison to “real” cookies. I loved them, but if I ever made them for others, I would add sugar…then they would be awesome. As is, they are alright.
Apple Oatmeal Cookies
(makes 12 cookies)
1 ½ cups quick-cooking oats, toasted*
½ cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon**
¼ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
¼ cups light brown sugar, packed
¼ cup butter
1 apple, peeled, cored, and grated
1 egg
½ tsp vanilla extract
¼ cup raisins
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine oats, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
Cream brown sugar and butter until pale and fluffy. Add the apple, egg, and vanilla, beat until combined. Add the oats mixture, stir to blend, then stir in raisins.
Drop by tablespoons onto a greased baking sheet; flatten with the back of a spoon. Bake until lightly browned, 12-15 minutes.
*just put your oatmeal in a non-stick skillet over medium heat and toast ‘em on the stove for a couple of minutes, keep stirring!
**my secret ingredient to everything ever is nutmeg. If it calls for cinnamon, go ahead and put that in, and then throw in a bit of nutmeg for extra oomph.
Mulberry Pie
So, I finally got to make a mulberry pie.
I found a recipe I liked, but it didn’t include a crust recipe, so I had to find another recipe for that.
I married these two recipes together and VOILA – PAH!
Foolproof Pie Crust
(from Tammy’s Recipes)
Yields: 3 pies with tops*
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 ¾ cups whole wheat flour (the author suggests pastry flour but I didn’t have any, so plain ol’ wheat it was)
1 ¾ cups butter or shortening (shortening = flaky crust. I used 1 cup shortening and ¾ cups of butter, because that’s what I had)
1 tbsp sugar
2 tsp vinegar
1 egg
½ cup cold water
In a large bowl mix flours, salt, and sugar. Cut in butter until pea-sized lumps remain.
In a separate bowl, beat vinegar, egg, and water. Add to flour mixture and mix just until dough forms. It will be sticky. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes (I ended up getting busy so mine was in there for about 1 ½ hours).
Roll into shape on floured surface and it’s ready to go. For pie recipes that call for a pre-baked crust, bake at 425 until slightly browned.
*She says it make three medium thick 9 inch pie crusts with tops or two thicker crusts with tops. I was able to baaarely get two out, in fact about ¾ of one pie ended up bare on top. I didn’t think I made it that thick, so, keep that in mind.
Also, when I was rolling and mixing this (and P.S. it turns out my stand mixer cuts in butter – this made me SO HAPPY. I hate doing that part) it STUNK. All I could smell was vinegar and I knew it was going to be awful and I wanted to cry. I was composing hatemail to Tammy while I rolled it out. Obviously, you can’t taste/smell the vinegar when it’s cooked, so it’s all good.
This is going to be my go-to crust recipe from now on!
Ok, here’s the pie filling recipe I used:
Mulberry Pie
(from Taste of Home)
3 cups ripe mulberries, rinsed
2/3 cups white sugar
½ cup flour
3 tbsp lime juice
1 egg
2 tsp cinnamon sugar
Preheat oven to 400.
In large bowl, mix mulberries, sugar, flour, and lime juice.
(Alright, listen – I had to use a TON more mulberries. A TON. I doubled the recipe since I had two crusts so maybe I didn’t measure properly since it is a little difficult to measure sloppy, messy berries, but 3 cups seems way off to me. I used regular sized Cool Whip containers to freeze my berries and I think I remember about two cups going in each one - I ended up using THREE of those, plus the berries leftover from our cobbler, probably another 2 cups. SO, have plenty of berries on hand, just in case.)
Pour into pastry-lined pie plate.
(Here it says to create a lattice top, but I put the whole top on and cut some slits in the top and called it a day. I was tired and not in the mood to create lattice. Ugh.)
Bake in oven for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk egg and cinnamon sugar together. Lower the oven temp to 350 and bake for ten minutes. Take the pie out and brush the egg on top of the crust. Bake for another 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown.
All in all, this was awesome. It was literally (no joke) the BEST PIE I have ever had. And I have eaten a lot of pie. Even Will couldn’t keep his hands out of it, and that’s weird for him. We ate half of a pie by ourselves last night (yes, we both have belly aches this morning).
I plan on spending the rest of my summer afternoons scouting out Mom’s mulberry tree and hoarding the berries! I wonder why you can’t buy them frozen like other berries?
I found a recipe I liked, but it didn’t include a crust recipe, so I had to find another recipe for that.
I married these two recipes together and VOILA – PAH!
Foolproof Pie Crust
(from Tammy’s Recipes)
Yields: 3 pies with tops*
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 ¾ cups whole wheat flour (the author suggests pastry flour but I didn’t have any, so plain ol’ wheat it was)
1 ¾ cups butter or shortening (shortening = flaky crust. I used 1 cup shortening and ¾ cups of butter, because that’s what I had)
1 tbsp sugar
2 tsp vinegar
1 egg
½ cup cold water
In a large bowl mix flours, salt, and sugar. Cut in butter until pea-sized lumps remain.
In a separate bowl, beat vinegar, egg, and water. Add to flour mixture and mix just until dough forms. It will be sticky. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes (I ended up getting busy so mine was in there for about 1 ½ hours).
Roll into shape on floured surface and it’s ready to go. For pie recipes that call for a pre-baked crust, bake at 425 until slightly browned.
*She says it make three medium thick 9 inch pie crusts with tops or two thicker crusts with tops. I was able to baaarely get two out, in fact about ¾ of one pie ended up bare on top. I didn’t think I made it that thick, so, keep that in mind.
Also, when I was rolling and mixing this (and P.S. it turns out my stand mixer cuts in butter – this made me SO HAPPY. I hate doing that part) it STUNK. All I could smell was vinegar and I knew it was going to be awful and I wanted to cry. I was composing hatemail to Tammy while I rolled it out. Obviously, you can’t taste/smell the vinegar when it’s cooked, so it’s all good.
This is going to be my go-to crust recipe from now on!
Ok, here’s the pie filling recipe I used:
Mulberry Pie
(from Taste of Home)
3 cups ripe mulberries, rinsed
2/3 cups white sugar
½ cup flour
3 tbsp lime juice
1 egg
2 tsp cinnamon sugar
Preheat oven to 400.
In large bowl, mix mulberries, sugar, flour, and lime juice.
(Alright, listen – I had to use a TON more mulberries. A TON. I doubled the recipe since I had two crusts so maybe I didn’t measure properly since it is a little difficult to measure sloppy, messy berries, but 3 cups seems way off to me. I used regular sized Cool Whip containers to freeze my berries and I think I remember about two cups going in each one - I ended up using THREE of those, plus the berries leftover from our cobbler, probably another 2 cups. SO, have plenty of berries on hand, just in case.)
Pour into pastry-lined pie plate.
(Here it says to create a lattice top, but I put the whole top on and cut some slits in the top and called it a day. I was tired and not in the mood to create lattice. Ugh.)
Bake in oven for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk egg and cinnamon sugar together. Lower the oven temp to 350 and bake for ten minutes. Take the pie out and brush the egg on top of the crust. Bake for another 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown.
All in all, this was awesome. It was literally (no joke) the BEST PIE I have ever had. And I have eaten a lot of pie. Even Will couldn’t keep his hands out of it, and that’s weird for him. We ate half of a pie by ourselves last night (yes, we both have belly aches this morning).
I plan on spending the rest of my summer afternoons scouting out Mom’s mulberry tree and hoarding the berries! I wonder why you can’t buy them frozen like other berries?
Mashed Potatoes and Carrot Cake (not together, that's gross)
Alright, good morning! A couple posts ago, Emmy asked for a good mashed potato recipe, so here we go. This is my go-to and the one I like the best:
Mashed Potatoes of the Delicious Variety:
Lots and lots of chicken broth
Some potatoes, cut up into little, mashable pieces.
Half & half or milk, whatever
Butter
Pepper
Put you potatoes into a big old pot and completely cover them with broth. My husband is a mashed potato FIEND so I usually make a big ol’ pot and it takes a lot of broth. Bring it to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and cover, cook for about 10 minutes or until the potatoes are soft enough for mashing. Drain your pot, but keep the broth! Mmmm.
Mash your taters! Go on, put some elbow into it. Throw in your butter (however much, y’all are smart people) and start pouring in the milk and the broth until the potatoes are as creamy as you like. Pepper it and I guess if you want, add some garlic, too! Hell, add some cheese and green onions. Add whatever you want! These are your potatoes. And they are awesome.
Grandma Vern’s Carrot Cake:
Cake:
1 3/4 c sugar
1 ¼ cup cooking oil
4 eggs
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
3 c. shredded carrots
1 c. pecans
Frosting:
1 package cream cheese
1 box powdered sugar
Ok, so this cake. Before I get started…Dad really wanted this cake. Dad has been bugging me FOREVER to make this stupid cake (only without pecan shells, har har). Mom dug up the recipe and what I typed up there is EXACTLY what is on the worn piece of paper she handed me. That’s it. Pretty much the same dilemma I faced with Grandma Rhea’s zucchini bread – here’s all the stuff, but now what?
Well, I pulled out two of my cookbooks (Mrs. Mary Bobo’s and Southern Cakes) to see what I could find. I compared the recipes and aside from some variations in measurements, the only main difference was that the other recipes called for some of the sugar to be brown sugar and they added vanilla extract. I decided to stick with Grandma’s ingredients, and go with Mary Bobo’s instructions. Which I’m going to type here. From memory. So, make at your own risk? (P.S. I’m aware there are TON of variations on a carrot cake that include raisins and canned pineapple and applesauce, etc. I’m a purist.)
Mix your sugar and oil together…for awhile? Until well mixed? Until creamy? Whatever, just mix them up. Mix in the eggs one at a time.
In a separate bowl, sift together all of your dry ingredients (I actually ran out of cinnamon while making this, so I threw in some nutmeg to make up for the maybe ½ tsp of cinnamon I was missing – nutmeg makes EVERYTHING better, in my opinion. Except maybe like, tacos). Mix it in gradually to your egg/oil/sugar mixture. When it’s all done, mix in your carrots and pecans.
I baked it in two 8” pie pans at 350 for about 50 minutes. The recipe said 45 minutes but mine wasn’t quite done.
The icing is pretty simple…again, in the recipe books they both called for additions like vanilla extract and I think one said something else I can’t remember. Anyway, mix your sugar and your softened cream cheese and you are done! I ended up adding a lot more powdered sugar…the icing seemed slippery to me and I hate hate hate icing slipping off of a cake. Just keep adding until it’s at the consistency you want.
I will say that mom said it’s the best carrot cake she’s ever had and I believe (maybe I dreamed this part) that dad told me it was better than Grandma’s. That’s what I’m talking about, bitches. Better than grandma!
Mashed Potatoes of the Delicious Variety:
Lots and lots of chicken broth
Some potatoes, cut up into little, mashable pieces.
Half & half or milk, whatever
Butter
Pepper
Put you potatoes into a big old pot and completely cover them with broth. My husband is a mashed potato FIEND so I usually make a big ol’ pot and it takes a lot of broth. Bring it to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and cover, cook for about 10 minutes or until the potatoes are soft enough for mashing. Drain your pot, but keep the broth! Mmmm.
Mash your taters! Go on, put some elbow into it. Throw in your butter (however much, y’all are smart people) and start pouring in the milk and the broth until the potatoes are as creamy as you like. Pepper it and I guess if you want, add some garlic, too! Hell, add some cheese and green onions. Add whatever you want! These are your potatoes. And they are awesome.
Grandma Vern’s Carrot Cake:
Cake:
1 3/4 c sugar
1 ¼ cup cooking oil
4 eggs
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
3 c. shredded carrots
1 c. pecans
Frosting:
1 package cream cheese
1 box powdered sugar
Ok, so this cake. Before I get started…Dad really wanted this cake. Dad has been bugging me FOREVER to make this stupid cake (only without pecan shells, har har). Mom dug up the recipe and what I typed up there is EXACTLY what is on the worn piece of paper she handed me. That’s it. Pretty much the same dilemma I faced with Grandma Rhea’s zucchini bread – here’s all the stuff, but now what?
Well, I pulled out two of my cookbooks (Mrs. Mary Bobo’s and Southern Cakes) to see what I could find. I compared the recipes and aside from some variations in measurements, the only main difference was that the other recipes called for some of the sugar to be brown sugar and they added vanilla extract. I decided to stick with Grandma’s ingredients, and go with Mary Bobo’s instructions. Which I’m going to type here. From memory. So, make at your own risk? (P.S. I’m aware there are TON of variations on a carrot cake that include raisins and canned pineapple and applesauce, etc. I’m a purist.)
Mix your sugar and oil together…for awhile? Until well mixed? Until creamy? Whatever, just mix them up. Mix in the eggs one at a time.
In a separate bowl, sift together all of your dry ingredients (I actually ran out of cinnamon while making this, so I threw in some nutmeg to make up for the maybe ½ tsp of cinnamon I was missing – nutmeg makes EVERYTHING better, in my opinion. Except maybe like, tacos). Mix it in gradually to your egg/oil/sugar mixture. When it’s all done, mix in your carrots and pecans.
I baked it in two 8” pie pans at 350 for about 50 minutes. The recipe said 45 minutes but mine wasn’t quite done.
The icing is pretty simple…again, in the recipe books they both called for additions like vanilla extract and I think one said something else I can’t remember. Anyway, mix your sugar and your softened cream cheese and you are done! I ended up adding a lot more powdered sugar…the icing seemed slippery to me and I hate hate hate icing slipping off of a cake. Just keep adding until it’s at the consistency you want.
I will say that mom said it’s the best carrot cake she’s ever had and I believe (maybe I dreamed this part) that dad told me it was better than Grandma’s. That’s what I’m talking about, bitches. Better than grandma!
Peach Crumble Pie
I finally got in the kitchen this weekend! I guess planting the garden inspired me.
Like I said on the phone, I was all prepared to try a new recipe for supper on Saturday night (Friday was pizza at mom’s), but Will decided we needed a “date.” I was glad to get out, but I’m pretty sure I could’ve made a better meal than what I had at the restaurant. Mostly because the mahi mahi was WAY overcooked, the potatoes tasted like they were from a box, and the only table we could get without a wait was outside on the patio (awesome!) next to a huge table of drunk smokers (not so awesome). The seafood bisque was amazing, though, so whatevs.
Sunday Mom and I made fajitas (SALSA) at her house and I made a pie I ended up bringing to grandma’s (SALSA PIE?).
This came from a Weight Watchers book, but don’t judge! It’s really, really good. And it smells so great when it’s cooking. Even will mumbled “delicious” around a mouthful and that made my heart swell pretty big. What is it about us that makes us equate cooking with love?
Peach Crumble Pie
(quickly – I did make a crust from scratch but obviously just switch that out with a premade one for you peeps with babies. HOWEVER, if you have a second to spare, I would recommend a homemade crust – not a Weight Watchers one, per se, unless you’re counting calories, but doesn’t from scratch taste so much better? Also, I can’t find the crust recipe online, so I’m not going to include it. It’s pretty good and simple though, so I might add it to this post one day if I even become that organized/driven.)
Filling:
3.5 lbs. of peaches, sliced or 3 16 oz. bags of frozen peaches, thawed (I used frozen – fresh isn’t out yet!)
handful of raspberries (again, I used frozen – and about two handfuls…)
¾ cup packed light brown sugar
½ tsp cinnamon, ground
¼ tsp ginger, ground
1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch
1 tsp vanilla extract
Topping:
2/3 cups rolled oats
¼ cup flour
½ cup light brown sugar
¼ tsp salt
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp water
Preheat your oven to 375.
Combine all filling ingredients and toss until well mixed and coated. Set aside.
For the topping, combing oats, flour, brown sugar, and salt.. Add butter, lemon juice, and water. Stir to combine.
Put your filling in your pie crust, then crumble the topping over. It will pretty much cover the entire filling, so YAY.
Bake for 40 minutes, then loosely tent the top with aluminum foil to prevent top from over browning. Bake an additional 40 minutes longer, until filling is hot and bubbly.
Ok, after the additional 40 minutes my pie still looked pretty liquidy and wasn’t bubbly. I thought maybe it would set a bit more on the way to mom’s, but it never did. I ended up cooking it for another 20 minutes in her oven, not with foil all over, but just around the edge of the crust to prevent burning. It was still a bit soupy to me (more cornstarch maybe next time, but I really think it was due to the frozen fruit instead of the fresh – those raspberries are packed in a ton of water, it seems), but it was awesome. It really made me feel like summer had arrived and it wasn’t like eating a regular ol’ peach pie you can get anywhere because of the raspberries.
Also, I love pie.
Like I said on the phone, I was all prepared to try a new recipe for supper on Saturday night (Friday was pizza at mom’s), but Will decided we needed a “date.” I was glad to get out, but I’m pretty sure I could’ve made a better meal than what I had at the restaurant. Mostly because the mahi mahi was WAY overcooked, the potatoes tasted like they were from a box, and the only table we could get without a wait was outside on the patio (awesome!) next to a huge table of drunk smokers (not so awesome). The seafood bisque was amazing, though, so whatevs.
Sunday Mom and I made fajitas (SALSA) at her house and I made a pie I ended up bringing to grandma’s (SALSA PIE?).
This came from a Weight Watchers book, but don’t judge! It’s really, really good. And it smells so great when it’s cooking. Even will mumbled “delicious” around a mouthful and that made my heart swell pretty big. What is it about us that makes us equate cooking with love?
Peach Crumble Pie
(quickly – I did make a crust from scratch but obviously just switch that out with a premade one for you peeps with babies. HOWEVER, if you have a second to spare, I would recommend a homemade crust – not a Weight Watchers one, per se, unless you’re counting calories, but doesn’t from scratch taste so much better? Also, I can’t find the crust recipe online, so I’m not going to include it. It’s pretty good and simple though, so I might add it to this post one day if I even become that organized/driven.)
Filling:
3.5 lbs. of peaches, sliced or 3 16 oz. bags of frozen peaches, thawed (I used frozen – fresh isn’t out yet!)
handful of raspberries (again, I used frozen – and about two handfuls…)
¾ cup packed light brown sugar
½ tsp cinnamon, ground
¼ tsp ginger, ground
1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch
1 tsp vanilla extract
Topping:
2/3 cups rolled oats
¼ cup flour
½ cup light brown sugar
¼ tsp salt
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp water
Preheat your oven to 375.
Combine all filling ingredients and toss until well mixed and coated. Set aside.
For the topping, combing oats, flour, brown sugar, and salt.. Add butter, lemon juice, and water. Stir to combine.
Put your filling in your pie crust, then crumble the topping over. It will pretty much cover the entire filling, so YAY.
Bake for 40 minutes, then loosely tent the top with aluminum foil to prevent top from over browning. Bake an additional 40 minutes longer, until filling is hot and bubbly.
Ok, after the additional 40 minutes my pie still looked pretty liquidy and wasn’t bubbly. I thought maybe it would set a bit more on the way to mom’s, but it never did. I ended up cooking it for another 20 minutes in her oven, not with foil all over, but just around the edge of the crust to prevent burning. It was still a bit soupy to me (more cornstarch maybe next time, but I really think it was due to the frozen fruit instead of the fresh – those raspberries are packed in a ton of water, it seems), but it was awesome. It really made me feel like summer had arrived and it wasn’t like eating a regular ol’ peach pie you can get anywhere because of the raspberries.
Also, I love pie.
Hot Fudge Sauce
Make this and everyone will love you.
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (use Hershey's!)
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1/3 cup light corn syrup
1/3 cup butter (not margarine!)
1 tsp vanilla
Combine sugar, cocoa, evaporated milk and corn syrup together in a saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the mixture boils. Actually, forget about stirring. You want to whisk. You want to whisk and never stop whisking. The more whisking you do, the happier you will be. When it starts to boil, it will be like thick gloppy mud-bubbles. Ploop! Plop! Bloop! Let it do that for five minutes while you keep whisking.
Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla. Serve over ice cream - I recommend Bluebell Natural Vanilla Bean. Also excellent over Homemade Vanilla. ALSO it doubles as a chocolate fondue, stand over the stove and dip fruit in it!
Refrigerate any leftovers.You can heat it up again later, and if the re-heating process thickens it too much, add a little milk. Definitely add a little bit of milk when you reheat it to keep it from toughening up.
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (use Hershey's!)
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1/3 cup light corn syrup
1/3 cup butter (not margarine!)
1 tsp vanilla
Combine sugar, cocoa, evaporated milk and corn syrup together in a saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the mixture boils. Actually, forget about stirring. You want to whisk. You want to whisk and never stop whisking. The more whisking you do, the happier you will be. When it starts to boil, it will be like thick gloppy mud-bubbles. Ploop! Plop! Bloop! Let it do that for five minutes while you keep whisking.
Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla. Serve over ice cream - I recommend Bluebell Natural Vanilla Bean. Also excellent over Homemade Vanilla. ALSO it doubles as a chocolate fondue, stand over the stove and dip fruit in it!
Refrigerate any leftovers.
Sloppy Joes, Sweet Potato Fries, Angel Food Cake
So here we are, at our very first, very real post.
I was thinking this morning, this will be pretty interesting. We grew up eating the same foods, watching the same people cook but we mostly seem to have vastly different ways around the kitchen, different staples in our pantry…maybe we can shake it up a bit!
Alright, bear with me, because neither of these are recipes (i.e. tsp and oz and whodit and wasdat), they are mostly just throwing shit together haphazardly and hoping for a miracle.
I know you remember that Christy and I cooked pretty much every weekend during high school. Maybe you didn’t know that? I can’t remember when you moved out. ANYWAY, we did cook most weekends. Sloppy Joes are one of the things we cooked the most, because you could experiment with it and it was SUPER hard to fuck up too bad. When I’m in need of comfort food (and mom’s not at home!) and I am pressed for time and I also want to make both Will and myself happy in the tummy area (I am usually all three of these), I make SLOPPY JOES.
You can do this. This is right up your alley. It’s probably stuff you have in your pantry and fridge!
I guess if you wanted a recipe list it could go something like this:
SLOPPY JOES
(it makes enough for about 5 sandwiches)
1 lb. ground beef (this is a good recipe to hide ground turkey in, too, because dudes and babies can’t tell the difference because the flavor is so strong. I usually use turkey, but we were out)
1 med. onion, chopped up
2 stalks celery, chopped up
1 can tomato paste
1 can tomato sauce
1 - 2 cloves of garlic, minced
½ tbsp or so of brown sugar
have at the ready: mustard, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco (I don’t add salt because this is already a lot of sodium, if you ask me, and you DID, kind of)
I bet you could add some bell pepper, too, but I’ve never tried it. Mmmm. Also, I know you can think up a better cut of meat to put in this. I’m completely uncomfortable with meat, so I just stick to basics. It makes me pretty sad.
Brown your beef in the skillet with the onion and celery and drain. Then, really, just add everything else in. I probably start with about 2 tbsp of mustard and ¼ cup of ketchup. Just a bit of W. sauce and Tabasco.
The good thing about this is it’s real easy to mess around and add or subtract what you want. And if you fuck up and need to correct your mistakes by adding more to offset the goof up well it just makes ‘em sloppier! It’s a win-win situation.
Moving on to other easy things:
SWEET POTATO FRIES
I can’t keep these out of my mouth. Last night was the first time I tried them, so they weren’t perfect and never got really crispy (not sure if they are supposed to), but even then they were amazing.
I cooked them at about 425.
One potato = one serving, so in our house each person got a potato. Ok, I got a potato and Will got frozen crinkle fries. These were FAR superior in my book.
Peel your sweet potato and cut up in thin strips to look like…you guessed it, French fries.
Put them all in a bowl and drizzle some olive oil over them. Toss them until coated.
Spread out on a pan and sprinkle with kosher salt and black pepper.
I cooked them for about 35 minutes and broiled on low for maybe 10 minutes. They never got crispy-crispy, but they weren’t so floppy and cooked veggie like that I couldn’t pick them up with my fingers and eat them like real fries. Which I did. A lot of.
FUCKING UP AN ANGEL FOOD CAKE
So, I think I mentioned I started Weight Watchers, yes? There is not a whole lot of foods I can tuck into and make myself sick on without eating up a bunch of points. So far I’ve found spinach and pickles, which is not real appealing unaccompanied by other things (ok, the pickles are).
I can eat a lot of angel food cake. Maybe because it’s air?
A long time ago a coworker had tried WW (and failed miserably, oh dear) and although I wasn’t on it, he sent me a file full of recipes and their point values. One recipe was just basically a box of angel food cake mix and several other ingredients. I guess this portion should be called fucking WITH and angel food cake, not fucking it up. It was delicious.
The one I tried the other night (and Will has been eating it non-stop, so I guess I did something right!) was the Pina Colada cake. Basically you get your cake mix and mix it according to the package, but you add a can of crushed pineapple in it’s juice and ½ tsp each of coconut and rum extract. It was divine. I was worried because I didn’t have an angel food cake pan, I only had a bundt pan, which the box says DO NOT USE! but I just eyeballed the batter and didn’t use it all. It came out perfect. It’s a good summer cake that you don’t have to feel guilty about. I’m all for that.
All of these things together? A meal, if served with root beer in glass bottles.
I was thinking this morning, this will be pretty interesting. We grew up eating the same foods, watching the same people cook but we mostly seem to have vastly different ways around the kitchen, different staples in our pantry…maybe we can shake it up a bit!
Alright, bear with me, because neither of these are recipes (i.e. tsp and oz and whodit and wasdat), they are mostly just throwing shit together haphazardly and hoping for a miracle.
I know you remember that Christy and I cooked pretty much every weekend during high school. Maybe you didn’t know that? I can’t remember when you moved out. ANYWAY, we did cook most weekends. Sloppy Joes are one of the things we cooked the most, because you could experiment with it and it was SUPER hard to fuck up too bad. When I’m in need of comfort food (and mom’s not at home!) and I am pressed for time and I also want to make both Will and myself happy in the tummy area (I am usually all three of these), I make SLOPPY JOES.
You can do this. This is right up your alley. It’s probably stuff you have in your pantry and fridge!
I guess if you wanted a recipe list it could go something like this:
SLOPPY JOES
(it makes enough for about 5 sandwiches)
1 lb. ground beef (this is a good recipe to hide ground turkey in, too, because dudes and babies can’t tell the difference because the flavor is so strong. I usually use turkey, but we were out)
1 med. onion, chopped up
2 stalks celery, chopped up
1 can tomato paste
1 can tomato sauce
1 - 2 cloves of garlic, minced
½ tbsp or so of brown sugar
have at the ready: mustard, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco (I don’t add salt because this is already a lot of sodium, if you ask me, and you DID, kind of)
I bet you could add some bell pepper, too, but I’ve never tried it. Mmmm. Also, I know you can think up a better cut of meat to put in this. I’m completely uncomfortable with meat, so I just stick to basics. It makes me pretty sad.
Brown your beef in the skillet with the onion and celery and drain. Then, really, just add everything else in. I probably start with about 2 tbsp of mustard and ¼ cup of ketchup. Just a bit of W. sauce and Tabasco.
The good thing about this is it’s real easy to mess around and add or subtract what you want. And if you fuck up and need to correct your mistakes by adding more to offset the goof up well it just makes ‘em sloppier! It’s a win-win situation.
Moving on to other easy things:
SWEET POTATO FRIES
I can’t keep these out of my mouth. Last night was the first time I tried them, so they weren’t perfect and never got really crispy (not sure if they are supposed to), but even then they were amazing.
I cooked them at about 425.
One potato = one serving, so in our house each person got a potato. Ok, I got a potato and Will got frozen crinkle fries. These were FAR superior in my book.
Peel your sweet potato and cut up in thin strips to look like…you guessed it, French fries.
Put them all in a bowl and drizzle some olive oil over them. Toss them until coated.
Spread out on a pan and sprinkle with kosher salt and black pepper.
I cooked them for about 35 minutes and broiled on low for maybe 10 minutes. They never got crispy-crispy, but they weren’t so floppy and cooked veggie like that I couldn’t pick them up with my fingers and eat them like real fries. Which I did. A lot of.
FUCKING UP AN ANGEL FOOD CAKE
So, I think I mentioned I started Weight Watchers, yes? There is not a whole lot of foods I can tuck into and make myself sick on without eating up a bunch of points. So far I’ve found spinach and pickles, which is not real appealing unaccompanied by other things (ok, the pickles are).
I can eat a lot of angel food cake. Maybe because it’s air?
A long time ago a coworker had tried WW (and failed miserably, oh dear) and although I wasn’t on it, he sent me a file full of recipes and their point values. One recipe was just basically a box of angel food cake mix and several other ingredients. I guess this portion should be called fucking WITH and angel food cake, not fucking it up. It was delicious.
The one I tried the other night (and Will has been eating it non-stop, so I guess I did something right!) was the Pina Colada cake. Basically you get your cake mix and mix it according to the package, but you add a can of crushed pineapple in it’s juice and ½ tsp each of coconut and rum extract. It was divine. I was worried because I didn’t have an angel food cake pan, I only had a bundt pan, which the box says DO NOT USE! but I just eyeballed the batter and didn’t use it all. It came out perfect. It’s a good summer cake that you don’t have to feel guilty about. I’m all for that.
All of these things together? A meal, if served with root beer in glass bottles.
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