Chili

I don't know why I chose yesterday - a beautiful 94 degree early summer day in Louisiana - to make a pot of chili. But it was probably the best chili I've ever made, so take that, conventional sense!

The base recipe I use is Mom's. I'm sure you have it somewhere. But I always do my own thing with the seasoning, the way I usually do - I cook it down, then taste it, taste it, taste it. I add a little more of this, a little more of that, until it's exactly where I want it. This is a crucial step in cooking for me - I never, never follow the seasoning instructions of any recipe exactly as written. Please keep that in mind, because you can't really write down a recipe for chili seasoning. No you cannot.

Here's the best I can do!

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Chili

• 2 lbs lean ground beef
• 1 tbs flour
• 3-4 minced garlic cloves
• 2 medium onions, chopped
• 1 chopped green pepper
* 1 chopped jalepeno pepper (scrape out the seeds for milder chili, leave some in for hot)
• 1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce
* 1 can light or dark (doesn't matter) red kidney beans (drained and rinsed)
• 2 cups water (plus more, as needed)

SEASONING - a rough guideline on where to start. Work your way from there.

• 2 tsp salt
* 1 tsp black pepper
• 3 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp whole cumin seed
• 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
* A couple generous shakes of Tony's

I ended up adding MORE of all of that, a little bit at a time.

In a big stew pot, brown the ground beef. As it cooks down, add the flour. When it's well browned, drain the meat well and add all of the other ingredients EXCEPT THE BEANS. The water level should be just enough to cover everything comfortably.

Simmer the pot (either covered or uncovered, I don't think it matters) over medium-low heat for 2 ½ hours, while you sip some iced tea with your feet in a kiddie pool on the patio. Go inside frequently to get another popsicle, and stir the chili. Add more water if it cooks down too much. Turn the heat down if it starts to boil - you just need it to simmer happily along all afternoon.

After 2 ½ hours, add in the beans. This is when you can taste and adjust the flavor to get it just perfect. This is also a good time to make cornbread muffins.

Keep the pot simmering until everyone is ready to come inside and eat. I like to eat mine with a little sprinkle of cheddar cheese on top, and a Dust Buster in one hand to catch the cornbread crumbs your nephew spreads all over the house.

Chicken and Bean Burritos

This was pretty good. As in, I'll definitely do it again, but it wasn't AMAZING. I did it in a slow cooker, but you could easily do this on the stove.

Chicken and Bean Burritos

1 can of condensed Cheddar Cheese soup (I know, I know - I almost barfed when I read that, too)
1 lb. of boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into small pieces

Chili powder
Garlic powder
Salt, pepper, Tony's

1 can of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can of pinto beans, rinsed and drained
Tortillas! (which I should buy stock in)
Lettuce (shredded), sour cream, fresh tomatoes (diced), cheddar cheese (grated)


Put the chicken, cheddar cheese soup, and chili and garlic powder into your slow cooker. I added a bit of water here, too, so it would stir easier (maybe like two tablespoons?). I put a couple of teaspoons of the chili powder, and one of the garlic powder. I think next time I might add some cumin? I'm not sure, if you make this, let me know what you think. Season it with the Holy Trinity and cook on low for 6 hours. While you pay invoices and take damp dollar bills from sweaty plumbers for change to buy Fritos out of the vending machine. Doesn't that make you want to eat a burrito?

When you get home, take off those shoes. Shit. Add the two cans of beans to your chicken and stir it all up. Are you serious? It's ready to eat, that's it? That's it, let's eat. Spread your tortilla with sour cream, put the chicken and bean stuff all up in it, top with cheese, lettuce and tomato, and fold it all up. Tuck your edges, that's where I usually mess up. It's like wrapping a Christmas gift.

If you're like the us, eat this while you watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. You will never feel so cool again, trust me.

Red Beans!

I am so glad to hear you're starting to like red beans and rice, because it is a totally Louisiana dish, and you are so Louisiana that it was kind of ridiculous that you didn't like them before. I guess now I need to learn to eat crawfish!

This is how I make mine, based on Mom's recipe. Which isn't really a recipe, but a set of loose instructions. No measurements required, because everything is to taste. You will need:

• A stew pot (and/or Crock Pot, if you want)


• A package of dry red beans


• Some white rice (I never substitute brown for this, it just wouldn't be the same)


• A large onion, finely chopped - you could also add celery and bell pepper if you have them on hand, to make the trinity - I'm not a big celery fan, and Shayne doesn't care for bell pepper, so I don't usually have those on short notice.


• Some minced garlic - fresh if you want, I just use the jarred stuff.


• Spices - any/as much as you want of the following: salt, pepper (I use both black and white), Tony's (or your favorite Cajun seasoning mix), cayenne, bay leaf, thyme, oregano.


• Sausage - any kind of hot or mild smoked sausage, andouille, or I guess even a hambone, which was the traditional meat in red beans, but who ever has a hambone lying around anymore? Honestly.
  

I use half a package of beans at a time, but I can't remember if I get the 1 lb. or 2 lb. bags...ugh. I guess a good rule of thumb would be just cover the bottom of the stew pot with beans until you think to yourself, "Cool, that looks like enough beans."

The best prep method for all this is to pour the beans into the pot the night before, cover them with water, put the lid on the pot and go to bed. The next morning, rinse your beans and add fresh water before cooking. Soaking the beans overnight helps them soften and split, and it also takes some of the gassy properties out of the beans. Yes, you will want that.

If you forget to do that or don't have time, you can use the quick and dirty method - pour the beans into the pot, cover them with water, and bring the pot to a boil on the stovetop. When it just boils, turn off the heat, cover the pot, and let it sit for an hour or so. The beans will soften and split that way, too.

Okay, your beans are ready. Are you going to cook them on the stovetop or in the Crock Pot? Will you be home all day puttering around the house and can keep an eye on the stove? Okay! Drain and rinse the beans, then cover them with fresh water in the pot. Bring them to a low boil on the stovetop. You can start chopping your onions/trinity now and maybe slice and fry your sausage up in a skillet, too. When the sausage is cooked, remove it from the skillet and drain it on a paper towel. Leave any sausage grease in the skillet, and sautee your onions and garlic in there until the onion is tender and translucent. Add the vegetables and sausage to the beans. Throw in some salt, pepper, Tony's and a bay leaf or two. Continue to cook them at a nice hot simmer for several hours (2-4 hours, I guess, something like that). Stir them every now and then from the bottom, so they don't stick, and keep an eye on the water level. If it gets too low, add a little more water. There's no need to cover the pot for any of this. Oh, also check your seasonings. Taste and adjust, taste and adjust until you are happy with the flavor. I usually wait until the last hour of cooking to add the thyme and oregano, and I only add a little bit at a time, because a little dab will do ya. Since you're hanging out at home, you can make your pot of rice anytime. And cornbread! You should make some cornbread, too, right?

Oh, you have to work today, but you want some beans for dinner? Can do. Add the beans to a Crock Pot and cover them with water. Chop your onion/trinity and throw it in raw, with some garlic, salt, peppper, Tony's and a bay leaf. If you want to add sausage now, fry it and drain it very well first...but I find slow cooking the sausage gives it a spongy texture I don't love. I save the sausage for later. Turn the Crock Pot on to a nice long, low setting (mine is Low - 10 Hours), and go to work. When you come home, check the water level. It's probably going to be soupier than you want, but that's okay. Ladle and pour the whole thing back into a big stew pot and stick it on the stove. Bring it to a low boil/healthy simmer to cook it down while you make the rice, mix the cornbread, fry the sausage, whatever. You can add the sausage in now if you didn't before, and taste it for seasoning. This is when I add the thyme and oregano and whatnot. Taste and adjust, taste and adjust.

The finished beans should be soft with a creamy texture, and all the veggies and spices should meld together indistinguishably. Serve over rice, with cornbread! And you know, I could learn to make cornbread from scratch, in a cast iron pan, with bacon grease or lard or whatever the traditional way is, and I am positive I wouldn't like it half as much as I love Jiffy corn muffins. *Tilt head* *Smile at camera*

My favorite thing about red beans and rice is how much better it is the next day. To reheat, just add a little water (not much) and stir it around on the stove. It will be much creamier the next day and the flavors have had more time to all melt together more...more awesomerly.

Before I go, I do need to tell you about one more thing I did last night. I put about half a cup of frozen blackberries (this is a thing with me, I guess) in a mug, defrosted them in the microwave (1 min. on defrost setting), then heated them up for about 30 more seconds so they got all warm and juicy and gooey. Then I scooped some vanilla ice cream directly into the mug and ate it with a spoon. That's all I did, but it was like THE BEST present to myself.

Red Beans and Blah

Yep, I can feel my slump starting. I haven't cooked all week, because Mom and Dad are awesome. They took us out to eat at Sammy's (how much do I love that that place is right by my house??) Monday night, and we had plenty of leftovers for supper last night. Tonight, I will be relying on the miracle of pre-cooked, flash frozen, mass produced entrees. We'll be having the last of the Omaha meatballs I have in my freezer (I pretend that I don't know they're made from veal. Oh, delicious little sad baby cows, I am so sorry. I don't normally eat you!) with...drumroll...Great Value Brand Cheese Manicotti. Don't judge, now. It's pretty tasty, and the ingredients list passes inspection. Whatever gets me out of these shoes and into the bathtub quickest, I'm for.

While that's defrostifying for tonight's dinner, I will cut up an onion and some smoked sausage and put some red beans on to soak. In the morning I'll rinse them, dump them in a crock pot, and simmer them slow all day. Get home tomorrow, cook rice, fry sausage, make cornbread muffins. Eat. Woooo. Exciting. If you need a step-by-step on red beans, just let me know - but if I remember, you don't love them!

Saturday I'm going to see about getting some cilantro for EVEN MORE SALSA AGAIN SOME MORE. I am 100% not tired of it yet and wishing I had some right now. I have some strawberries that need to be used, too, (they were $1 a carton last weekend! Score!) so I might also make a strawberry pie. You know, the kind with the strawberries set in jello, that we'd have at Aunt Nette's sometimes? We'll see.

(Okay, mostly I just wanted to use the PAH tag, because it cracks me up to see it down there. But I really am thinking of making one!)