(Keep Your Sticky Hands Off) Mama's Breakfast Sandwich

I have reached my saturation point. I've been cooking, eating out at restaurants, having just a little bit of pie (okay, just a little bit more) and eating on the go (ZOO NACHOS) for so long, that I literally cannot eat any more food. There's no more room at the inn, y'all. I could pretty much marry a taco, and we skipped taco night last night because I didn't want to die.

So while I drink a Slimfast and reflect on my life choices, I will tell you about my breakfast Sunday morning. It is my favorite thing to cook myself for breakfast on a weekend morning. It is my present to myself.

I start by toasting a whole wheat bagel. A giant, dense, calorific, carboholic whole wheat bagel. The bagel is to be lightly buttered upon exiting the toaster. While that's happening, I heat up a skillet and spray it down with non-stick cooking spray. Then I break two eggs into a cup, and scoop out/discard one of the yolks. This makes me feel like I'm being reasonably healthy. I mix in a little low fat milk (no more than 1 tbs.), and season it with some dashes of black pepper, Tony's and Tabasco sauce. I whisk it around with a fork and pour it into the pan. It sizzles and I smile.

I cook the egg until I can turn it (like an omelette) without breaking it too bad. I fold it over itself and make a little square out of it (or a little triangle, or a little lopsided rhombus, whatever, it doesn't matter). I scoot the eggs over to one side of the skillet, and heat up some pieces of sliced ham on the other half of the skillet, turning them once to sear both sides. I use thin-sliced deli ham, because it's what I have on hand, so I use 3-4 slices.

I pop the ham and eggs onto one half of the bagel, top it with some thin slices of swiss cheese and a pinch or two of shredded cheddar. Close the sandwich with the other half of the bagel, and stick the whole thing in the microwave for 30 seconds to melt the cheese. Then, as I do with all my breakfast sandwiches (they love me at McDonald's), I eat it with mustard and a Diet Coke.

That sandwich will get me through a morning running after a preschooler. That sandwich will fill me up so long I can skip lunch or eat later than normal if need be. That sandwich is the equivalent of TWO fast food sandwiches, but that sandwich is NOT for sharing. I make Curt an egg and some toast at the same time, and he can eat that. Nobody touches Mama's sandwich, and everyone has a happy day.