Easy Boneless Pork Chop With An Amazing Flavour.

So, last night was kind of a bust. Which wholeheartedly sucks because I finally got a chance to cook and it wasn’t even worth half the effort I put forth (not too much).

Let me just throw this out there: the internet is a scary place. I bet you already knew that. The internet is especially scary for a naïve and innocent girl who just wants to find a yummy way to cook pork chops. Seriously. (that is not to say this recipe is bad – it’s not entirely…what went wrong was something I bet I could easily fix. I just am in awe of how many recipes I trip across that sound HORRIBLE. Or how many I’ve tried that have gotten rave reviews that taste like something I dug out between Battlecat’s back teeth. Not that I’ve ever eaten anything from my cat’s teeth. Jesus!)

I found a recipe on a site full of user-submitted recipes and I have to admit I chose it because a. it didn’t involve making a gravy and I did NOT want to make rice last night and b. it had the Best Title Ever.

It was called “Easy Boneless Pork Chop With an Amazing Flavour.”

With the period on the end! And just the one chop!
So, without further ado, Easy Boneless Pork Chop With an Amazing Flavour:





EASY BONELESS PORK CHOP WITH AN AMAZING FLAVOUR.

4 boneless pork chop(s) (HAHA)
3 tbsp applesauce
¼ cup butter (This recipe was written by someone from England, and the original recipe called for 100 g of butter, so I just read the comments and did what those fools said.)
1 tsp sage
1 tsp rosemary
1 garlic clove, minced
2 tbsp olive oil
1 apple, chopped (I used a Braeburn, because it was all I had left)
salt and pepper


(In my own words, because the original recipe kind of rambled on and on about “flavours.”)

Mix butter, apple sauce, and oil together. (I melted my butter…not all the way, actually, because this needs to be kind of stiff) Add rosemary, sage and garlic. Season with salt and pepper. If it’s not stiff enough to coat the meat (ew?), add more butter.

Score the pork chops with lines on both sides. Place each chop on it’s own piece of foil, just enough to tightly wrap. Smear the coating on both sides of meat, massaging it in generously. (EW!)

Wrap the foil tightly around the chops and put in the oven on 350 for 30 minutes.
Remove from the oven and unwrap just enough to fit apple wedges on top of each chop. Wrap that shit back up.

It says to cook it for 30 more minutes but to check it often to make sure it’s not overcooked or dry.

Here’s the problem with this – it’s SWIMMING in juice, so you can’t tell it’s overcooked or too dry. Mine was.

It smelled AWESOME as it was cooking, even Will commented on it. When we got down to eating it – not so much. It just tasted like a bland, overcooked pork chop. Obviously, the overcooked part was my problem. This morning I talked to Squirrel about it (we both talk about food a loootttt) and he said you pretty much have to marinate pork overnight for it to soak up any flavor. SO, I will definitely give this one more chance, but I will marinate it to see if that helps.

Also, next time, I will leave the rosemary off of Will’s pork chops. I always forget that he HATES rosemary. I make fun of him and just tell him to brush the grass off, but it kind of sucks when someone who loves you a whole lot can’t remember what you hate hate hate and you have to pick your food apart. I’m sorry to my husband, who has very definite tastes, if not at all varied or interesting.

So what did we have with these pork chops? Well, parsley potatoes, which you don’t need a recipe for (but, hey, how do you cook yours? Mine are never as good as mom’s!) and green beans.

Oh, green beans.

I love green beans. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. I love green beans in their fresh, unadulterated form. I love them just a little bit crunchy with just some olive oil and salt or hey! some lightly toasted sesame seeds. Mmmm.

I live with a man who wants them canned with bacon and a stick of butter and an entire salt mine thrown in for good measure. Actually, no, I live with a man who has NO IDEA how he wants them, just “not like that” and I know what he means, but I am not going to spend 30 minutes chopping up raw bacon to appease his steadily widening ass. NO NO NO. (sorry for the rant there!) I just don’t believe green beans need bacon and canned soup and fried onions and what other abominations people come up with to serve at family get-togethers. (that is not to say I don’t eat those things with delight – but on a run-of-the-mill Thursday night?)

Especially this time of year when I’ve got veggies ready to go in the ground for the first time ever and all I can think about is FRESH! And SIMPLE! And WHOLESOME!

So I just steamed my green beans for a bit until they were just tender and then I sautéed them with a little butter and garlic and I seasoned them with a little ground pepper and kosher salt.

Ok, too much butter. And not fresh garlic, just minced garlic from a jar and too much of it, at that. I was in a hurry, ok?

So green beans? Not very good. My fault. Not wholesome or fresh or any of the above. Just garlicy and slick with butter and sad. Wasted potential.

I just felt like last night could have been a lot better. It gets me down, you know?

BUT! We went grocery shopping last night for and I got all the stuff for some planned meals (do you plan four or five meals in advance so you know what to buy/what’s in your house that needs to be used?). Hopefully not too far in the future, I can post about your breakfast quiche (hoping to try that tomorrow…can I make it ahead and keep it in the fridge overnight?), my beef tips (oh dear), a creamy shrimp and pasta DO OVER! (with plain tomatoes, maybe served cold?) and a spinach, provolone and sausage pizza.

Speaking of that pizza, I got the recipe from a blog friend so I’m a little more trusting than just pulling it from the deep blue sea. However, it calls for 2 links of Italian sausage. And then it goes on to tell you to break up the sausage while you’re browning it, which leads me to believe it’s ground? In the grocery store yesterday I wasn’t sure where to look. Meat department? Deli? Do you know? I feel like an idiot.